basket case rant
August 31, 2010 at 8:43 pm
(This post was last modified: August 31, 2010 at 8:44 pm by Oldandeasilyconfused.)
Yesterday, out of the blue,I received a card from my last girlfriend telling me she still misses me. It's been over 6 years since I've heard from her. She is now married to another man,and living over 2000 miles away.
I just lost it.I was stunned at the feelings which arose; deep distress, anger,bemusement (why now?What's wrong? What does she want from me? Did she really not understand what that would do to me?)
She thoughtfully enclosed her address and email with her new name. Of course I responded how could I not? I'm weak;I still love her to distraction. I told her politely to fuck off. What I actually said was; "There is no way we can go back, and no way forward which would be acceptable to both of us--It was wonderful to hear from you.Perhaps do it again another few years. "
Right now I'm in a bad place. I also feel ridiculous, like a silly schoolboy suffering from unrequited love. I guess my dear old mum was right; the person inside never ages.
Rant over. I think I'll go and smash something.Then I'll sulk.
I just lost it.I was stunned at the feelings which arose; deep distress, anger,bemusement (why now?What's wrong? What does she want from me? Did she really not understand what that would do to me?)
She thoughtfully enclosed her address and email with her new name. Of course I responded how could I not? I'm weak;I still love her to distraction. I told her politely to fuck off. What I actually said was; "There is no way we can go back, and no way forward which would be acceptable to both of us--It was wonderful to hear from you.Perhaps do it again another few years. "
Right now I'm in a bad place. I also feel ridiculous, like a silly schoolboy suffering from unrequited love. I guess my dear old mum was right; the person inside never ages.
Rant over. I think I'll go and smash something.Then I'll sulk.
