How do I get over that "feeling" that god exists?

[robvalue]

I'm very sorry to hear that. Religion is very powerful, and I can fully understand it taking a while for the scars to heal. I think of it a bit like ripping off a massive leech, one that was pumping mind sedatives and poisoned thoughts into you, to blur your reality. Now it's off, reality is a stark shock, and you're suddenly without those familiar drugs in your system.

My advice is to think about how much time you've spent worrying about all the other types of hell. Muslim hell for example. There are an infinite number of "possible" religions, all with the possibiliy of their own "hell" based on arbitrary rules. The chances of the Christian religion and its hell being real is roughly 1 in infinity, or zero. Since none of the other infinity of yells have been bothering you, this is just the last drop in the ocean. I know that's easy for me to say, but I hope thinking of it that way will help.

Also, I recommend blasphemy. Go somewhere private, or with like minded friends, and just hurl abuse, threats and taunts at God. Dare him to strike you down where you stand. Call him a fuck-bunion. Ask him if he's going to do anything about you thinking he doesn't even exist. Tell him to stick his hell up his arse. Nothing will happen (that wasn't going to happen anyway) so hopefully you'll become more convinced no one is listening. This will probably be scary at first, but the more you do it, the easier it will get I think.

The reason "hell" works so well as a threat is it can't be proven wrong, and you don't see God do anything to you until you're dead. However, there is absolutely to reason to think it is true. No one knows what happens after you die, but all the evidence points to absolutely nothing happening. Hell, heaven and God exist entirely in the imagination of theists. The idea that camel molesters 2000 years ago know some amazing truth that all of science today doesn't know is fucking ridiculous on every level. Anyone can make shit up.

And think about it: the christian god is meant to be all loving. Only good. Yet he supposedly tortures people. It's a contradiction. The product they are selling isn't even internally consistent. Such a being cannot logically exist. So if christians are wrong about that, and this is the best they have got, its reasonable to assume the rest is garbage too.

I wish you well, and keep coming here for support my friend