(September 30, 2010 at 1:12 am)freemike Wrote: Hope this is in the right forum but I have been battling this the last 4 years and it's wearing me down, I'm 24. Well just to give some background. I was raised southern baptist by my mother, my father was a sinner until I was 16 and appears to have returned that way but we don't talk about god. My mother has always tied god into everything. Like certain things that seem completely and is really illogical to connect she will with god. Like the reason my last relationship did not work out is because I had sex with the girl once 4 months before she showed she couldn't be trusted and didn't respect me. Well you two had sex, god just wasn't going to bless that. I'm like really WTF, I pretty much just got cheated on and you want to throw that crap in my face. This just really proves to me how inconsiderate and how messed up christians can be. I'm sitting there hurting and she wants to throw up something that happened 4 months ago in my face. My father he lets me be myself and make my own decisions without criticizing me and will catch me when I fall and tell me to keep my head up and keep moving. I'm not so concerned about telling him as I am my mother. Like she doesn't even think I should be trying to date, until I get things with god worked out. Wow, this sounds so pathetic, I'm 24 and my mother still tries to run my life. I still live with them while I'm working on getting through school and the girl that I thought was the one didn't work out, and I had to limp back home after she got done with me lol. I just wish my mother respected me as a person. I guess in writing this out I have realized that is probably the major issue here. All my friends, co-workers, and pretty much everyone knows I'm an atheist except my family and even extended family. I just don't know how to tell them, or to get my mother to respect me?
Sorry this turned into a rant/life story. Though just writing this down has helped as I finally realize a big issue about this is my mother respecting me as my friends have told me before.
Set limits with your Mon, give her the reasons you are not christian and end the conversation. She will never agree with you, and the results of your comment will result in an assault on any logic you used to explain your view. It is best to make your statement and tell her it is not a subject you will debate with her. People who use religion to blame everything on are not going to change, and your only option is to set these boundaries and limit access to your personal religious views. I think at 24 she needs to be out of you sex life, as well. The causes of failed relationships are none of her business, and discussing this with her is something you need to recognize as a poor decision. You are an adult at 24, and the responsibilities you assume as an adult require you come to grips with your own issues related to relationships. It is best to accept the breakup as a joint problem between adults, solve the problems you had in the relationship, and recognize the problems of the other person so you won’t make them in your next relationship. Than move on and find someone new.
With your Dad, I would limit the religious talks with him to the same statement you used on your mother. It is best to recognize he is living in his own hell with a person who links everything on her mythical gods, and sees sex as something god oversees.
