I have four kids (two of them are step kids) and a man... here are my house rules...
When kids are here:
If you can't get along, I'm threatening to run away.
If you argue with each other, I'm actually running away.
If you go from 13 years old to 5 years old, I'm not coming back.
You all are 11, 12, 13 and 19. Work your own shit out.
You want something go ask your dad/Rob (for my kids) and leave me out of it.
I will go on strike. I've done it before. Read the post it notes scattered around the walls of the house. They are there for YOUR protection and MY sanity.
IF I HAVE TO YELL... you all are going to have one miserable summer.
So far, the 13 year old is going to have a miserable summer.
When the kids are NOT here AND I NEED THE CAR:
3am - Wake grumpy up.
3:30 - take grumpy to work. Stop by Rutter's for coffee.
4am - come home. Debate going back to sleep. Fuck it. Get on Facebook instead, while lying in bed for the next three hours.
7am - kick one cat off my pillow, remove the lump (second cat) out from under my covers. Yeah she burrows. So what. And try not to trip over the third cat while on my way to the bathroom.
8am - back on facebook. Figure out what to do with my day. Oh yeah.. I needed the damn car. Okay - run needless errands. Go to appointments. Blah blah blah.
3:30pm - pick up grumpy from work.
4pm - bitch about having to make dinner. Call for pizza.
4:30pm to 2am - sit on couch, watch tv, play on laptop.
When the kids are NOT here and I DON'T need the car:
2am - maybe go to bed.
3am - grumpy wakes his own ass up for work.
3am - 11am - SLEEP with three cats whoring my bed. Fuckers.
11am - whenever... do absolutely as little as humanly possible.
Wash, rinse, repeat.
Yep.. that about sums up my life.
When kids are here:
If you can't get along, I'm threatening to run away.
If you argue with each other, I'm actually running away.
If you go from 13 years old to 5 years old, I'm not coming back.
You all are 11, 12, 13 and 19. Work your own shit out.
You want something go ask your dad/Rob (for my kids) and leave me out of it.
I will go on strike. I've done it before. Read the post it notes scattered around the walls of the house. They are there for YOUR protection and MY sanity.
IF I HAVE TO YELL... you all are going to have one miserable summer.
So far, the 13 year old is going to have a miserable summer.
When the kids are NOT here AND I NEED THE CAR:
3am - Wake grumpy up.
3:30 - take grumpy to work. Stop by Rutter's for coffee.
4am - come home. Debate going back to sleep. Fuck it. Get on Facebook instead, while lying in bed for the next three hours.
7am - kick one cat off my pillow, remove the lump (second cat) out from under my covers. Yeah she burrows. So what. And try not to trip over the third cat while on my way to the bathroom.
8am - back on facebook. Figure out what to do with my day. Oh yeah.. I needed the damn car. Okay - run needless errands. Go to appointments. Blah blah blah.
3:30pm - pick up grumpy from work.
4pm - bitch about having to make dinner. Call for pizza.
4:30pm to 2am - sit on couch, watch tv, play on laptop.
When the kids are NOT here and I DON'T need the car:
2am - maybe go to bed.
3am - grumpy wakes his own ass up for work.
3am - 11am - SLEEP with three cats whoring my bed. Fuckers.
11am - whenever... do absolutely as little as humanly possible.
Wash, rinse, repeat.
Yep.. that about sums up my life.
Disclaimer: I am only responsible for what I say, not what you choose to understand.
