My dad hates me/is kicking me out
August 28, 2011 at 8:04 pm
(This post was last modified: August 28, 2011 at 8:15 pm by DraxQuin.)
So yeah sorry for the apparent melodramatic title but I had to get his off my chest mainly because I have nobody, literally I know no-one and have nobody to talk to.
Just a premise of my entire life I never go out at all due to my stupid beliefs, I am now 18 with no friends at all, never had a girlfriend. my family is Muslim just so you know we're British and my dad was once a christian (before he had any of my brothers/sisters), I was taught that any kind of socializing/drinking/partying was strictly forbidden as people were 'caffers' or whoever the fuck you spell that.
My older brothers didn't listen and would go out and socialize funnily enough they still remain religious even though completely having contradictory attitudes to the whole thing, indoctrination go figure.
Me instead being the apparent "good boy" stayed in day after day, sat behind this stupid computer doing nothing, essentially going completely crazy.
Now I was always the most intelligent in the family getting straight A's while my family failed, I'm not trying to be arrogant the rest of my brothers are all your typical council estate chavs.
I believed as all my brothers did but always believed in evolution (I had been informed it was wrong growing up, but had never payed any attention), religion always bothered me no matter how much I tried to convince myself like my other brothers this concept of hell for all unbelievers resounded to me as completely unjust (among other stupid concepts), yet I bowed and performed my prayers like the good little boy I was. Now when I was 16 I researched Islam to make sure I understood it, and looked up the other side of the argument (Athiesm) noticing my previous notions of religion being a fallacy resounding true in other peoples words was so comforting I felt at home for once.
After becoming an Athiest I was laughed at by all my family, repeatedly called an idiot I recall one fruitful dinner-table conversation where my whole family sat still and laid into me for my views. After that I tried talking to my father personally not at this point understanding how extreme his views were, turned out he was anti-homosexuality, a creationist etc, he used every single dumb creationist argument in the book from 'why do chimps still exist then herp-derp' I had no idea his views were this medieval, he sat their calling me this moron and criticizing me while holding these completely unscientific views.
Next few weeks I avoided him, but then he gives me a link to a website clearing after googling the words "evolution debunked", anyone seeing my thread here:
http://atheistforums.org/thread-8224.html
This was concerning my father, though I made out it wasn't for sake of anonymity and because I don't know I guess I was scared to speak out my situation. I explained to my dad this misconceptions yet he sat their shouting and insulting at me more and more, till the point where he claimed I was scum because I had no morality, I was enraged and stated his Quran preached death to apostates among many other things and said if thats his morality why not kill me on the spot. It may have been extreme but I was emotional at the time. He told me to fuck off and we didn't speak again.
I even showed him videos that contradicted with the apparent scientific proof in the Quran, showing him many of the verses are merely copies from Aristotle's work at the time, this was because he showed me the verse in the Quran apparently talking about the Big Bang. What pisses me off so much about this that I have to vent it, was that the previous day he was telling me how stupid the Big Band theory was, but now its perfectly reasonable because the Quran sites it, and only because he goggled scientific proof in the Quran, he actually had no idea that this verse could imply that up to this point.
Now I don't know why but I tried to look for comfort in my brothers/sisters hoping I could get some comfort from anybody, this was when I realized my older brothers were still religious I was shocked and noticed they were so indoctrinated they literally spewed out nonsense such as "well your pathetic and so sad because you think we just go to the dirt" or "your so sad for thinking theres no god" among many of the standard "evolution is only a theory"
I then tried to talk to my little brother today who completely detests homosexuality, I tried to ask him why and explain to him that this was a silly view.
My dad overhearing this call me down as says "you will not speak your horseshit in my house" I said I was only allowing my brother to think for himself, unlike the indoctrination you have given him "I want you to get out as soon as possible" "you have such weird views, you think it's alright for people to stick their dicks in others asses" "I bet you would like to do that" and "I bet you think pedophiles are ok" at which point I stated that Muhammad was engaged to a 12 year old he told me to get out straight away.
Now my emotions are all fucked up, I'm a depressed bag of shit to put it lightly I have no self-confidence, I was always bullied at school never had any friends, so I was always alone even at school, my father has divorced three times (he's extremely argumentative) each time I've held onto whoever was my mother at the time just to see them go away, now I'm an atheist now my own father hates me and wants me to go away, I have nobody, zero nothing.
I want to get out as soon as possible aswell but don't have hardly any money because my manager at my current job won't give me shifts enough to pay rent on an apartment, as I was working part-time originally due to college.
I'm contemplating suicide, maybe thats stupid, maybe it isnt my whole life has been a shit wreck from the get go and now my father hates me to the bone, I don't know what to do I have nobody in my life who I can talk to.
Just a premise of my entire life I never go out at all due to my stupid beliefs, I am now 18 with no friends at all, never had a girlfriend. my family is Muslim just so you know we're British and my dad was once a christian (before he had any of my brothers/sisters), I was taught that any kind of socializing/drinking/partying was strictly forbidden as people were 'caffers' or whoever the fuck you spell that.
My older brothers didn't listen and would go out and socialize funnily enough they still remain religious even though completely having contradictory attitudes to the whole thing, indoctrination go figure.
Me instead being the apparent "good boy" stayed in day after day, sat behind this stupid computer doing nothing, essentially going completely crazy.
Now I was always the most intelligent in the family getting straight A's while my family failed, I'm not trying to be arrogant the rest of my brothers are all your typical council estate chavs.
I believed as all my brothers did but always believed in evolution (I had been informed it was wrong growing up, but had never payed any attention), religion always bothered me no matter how much I tried to convince myself like my other brothers this concept of hell for all unbelievers resounded to me as completely unjust (among other stupid concepts), yet I bowed and performed my prayers like the good little boy I was. Now when I was 16 I researched Islam to make sure I understood it, and looked up the other side of the argument (Athiesm) noticing my previous notions of religion being a fallacy resounding true in other peoples words was so comforting I felt at home for once.
After becoming an Athiest I was laughed at by all my family, repeatedly called an idiot I recall one fruitful dinner-table conversation where my whole family sat still and laid into me for my views. After that I tried talking to my father personally not at this point understanding how extreme his views were, turned out he was anti-homosexuality, a creationist etc, he used every single dumb creationist argument in the book from 'why do chimps still exist then herp-derp' I had no idea his views were this medieval, he sat their calling me this moron and criticizing me while holding these completely unscientific views.
Next few weeks I avoided him, but then he gives me a link to a website clearing after googling the words "evolution debunked", anyone seeing my thread here:
http://atheistforums.org/thread-8224.html
This was concerning my father, though I made out it wasn't for sake of anonymity and because I don't know I guess I was scared to speak out my situation. I explained to my dad this misconceptions yet he sat their shouting and insulting at me more and more, till the point where he claimed I was scum because I had no morality, I was enraged and stated his Quran preached death to apostates among many other things and said if thats his morality why not kill me on the spot. It may have been extreme but I was emotional at the time. He told me to fuck off and we didn't speak again.
I even showed him videos that contradicted with the apparent scientific proof in the Quran, showing him many of the verses are merely copies from Aristotle's work at the time, this was because he showed me the verse in the Quran apparently talking about the Big Bang. What pisses me off so much about this that I have to vent it, was that the previous day he was telling me how stupid the Big Band theory was, but now its perfectly reasonable because the Quran sites it, and only because he goggled scientific proof in the Quran, he actually had no idea that this verse could imply that up to this point.
Now I don't know why but I tried to look for comfort in my brothers/sisters hoping I could get some comfort from anybody, this was when I realized my older brothers were still religious I was shocked and noticed they were so indoctrinated they literally spewed out nonsense such as "well your pathetic and so sad because you think we just go to the dirt" or "your so sad for thinking theres no god" among many of the standard "evolution is only a theory"
I then tried to talk to my little brother today who completely detests homosexuality, I tried to ask him why and explain to him that this was a silly view.
My dad overhearing this call me down as says "you will not speak your horseshit in my house" I said I was only allowing my brother to think for himself, unlike the indoctrination you have given him "I want you to get out as soon as possible" "you have such weird views, you think it's alright for people to stick their dicks in others asses" "I bet you would like to do that" and "I bet you think pedophiles are ok" at which point I stated that Muhammad was engaged to a 12 year old he told me to get out straight away.
Now my emotions are all fucked up, I'm a depressed bag of shit to put it lightly I have no self-confidence, I was always bullied at school never had any friends, so I was always alone even at school, my father has divorced three times (he's extremely argumentative) each time I've held onto whoever was my mother at the time just to see them go away, now I'm an atheist now my own father hates me and wants me to go away, I have nobody, zero nothing.
I want to get out as soon as possible aswell but don't have hardly any money because my manager at my current job won't give me shifts enough to pay rent on an apartment, as I was working part-time originally due to college.
I'm contemplating suicide, maybe thats stupid, maybe it isnt my whole life has been a shit wreck from the get go and now my father hates me to the bone, I don't know what to do I have nobody in my life who I can talk to.
