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RE: Marriage Poll
May 31, 2009 at 2:17 pm
No relationships last forever. Because there's this thing called...death lol.
Some can last really long though. Or till death....and if you can have a long meaningful relationship, why not? If you're in love enough.
It doesn't have to be monogamistic to be meaningful though of course. It's possible to love more than one person....because...some people do.
But that is the common way anyway...and there's nothing from with it.
'Marriage' is superficial nonsense that has nothing to do with an actual relationship though. It doesn't give you any special powers lol. You can have a loving relationship without it. It's just a common expression of love - that is all.
And I am against commitment because it's a form of fear and attachment.
To care though without being 'attached' I think one way of looking at it is to compartmentalize your emotions so you can be mentally attached but - also detached at the same time - so you can love but not fear loss. And so you can love people whether they're specifically 'with you' or not.
I'm getting better and better at this more recently I think 
EvF
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RE: Marriage Poll
June 1, 2009 at 8:16 am
I think friendship can last forever. Not relationship in a way where both persons love eachother more then just being close friends. Some couples in a marriage become more like friends after a certain period of time. You may love that person, but you are not still in love with that person.
When the "in love" phase has ended does a couple in a marriage either tranform into a friendship-like relationship or drift a part.
If it haven't because people were married would even more couples brake up.
- Science is not trying to create an answer like religion, it tries to find an answer.
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RE: Marriage Poll
June 1, 2009 at 8:54 am
I agree that it often becomes just friendship in a really long relationship at least....but - not always.
There is a such thing as a long loving (in love) relationship.
EvF
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RE: Marriage Poll
June 16, 2009 at 8:38 am
I dissagree, there isn't such thing as long loving (in love) relationship.
Being with the same person for a long period of time, in a relationship that's more then just friends, doesn't make sence at all.
- Science is not trying to create an answer like religion, it tries to find an answer.
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RE: Marriage Poll
June 16, 2009 at 11:54 am
(June 16, 2009 at 8:38 am)Giff Wrote: I dissagree, there isn't such thing as long loving (in love) relationship.
How old are you and how would you know? I'm 52, I've been married 25 years this July (living together foir 4 years before that) and I can tell you that you are wrong.
Kyu
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RE: Marriage Poll
June 16, 2009 at 12:43 pm
LOL, you men are to funny with your views on marriage. To you young men who are anti marriage, if you meet a woman, fall in love and you tell her you don't believe in marriage she will agree with you. If she has it in the back of her mind she's gonna get married, you bet your ass you're gonna get married, eventually. That is just the way women work.
I'm 46, I met my husband when I was 27 and he was 26. At that time he was going through a divorce and in no way was he ready for marriage. I was tired of the dead end relationships I had and was ready to find a guy with a job and that didn't smoke pot, he fit the bill. We dated for a year, lived together for a year then got married. I wanted to get married long before he did, but I just sat back and waited until it was his idea. It's been 17 years and going. I still love him and he still loves me and we are best friends. We still do it too, that's very important 
Tammy
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RE: Marriage Poll
June 16, 2009 at 12:44 pm
(June 16, 2009 at 11:54 am)Kyuuketsuki Wrote: How old are you and how would you know? I'm 52, I've been married 25 years this July (living together foir 4 years before that) and I can tell you that you are wrong.
Kyu
I'm 50 this year, have been married 22 years and can support that too.
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RE: Marriage Poll
June 16, 2009 at 3:17 pm
(June 16, 2009 at 12:44 pm)fr0d0 Wrote: I'm 50 this year, have been married 22 years and can support that too.
This agreeing with each other thing ... it has to stop you know? I have my image to think about  hock:
Kyu
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RE: Marriage Poll
June 16, 2009 at 7:31 pm
(This post was last modified: June 16, 2009 at 7:34 pm by Oldandeasilyconfused.)
One consolation is that although marriage is often temporary, divorce is usually forever. (unless you're Elizabeth Taylor)
After one marriage and several long term relationships I really cannot understand why a bloke would want to get married,ever.It's not to our advantage.Unless of course her parents are very traditional and filthy rich,like my erstwhile in laws.
The woman gets to wear a ridiculous and usually disingenuous costume, but the bloke gets congratulated on his extreme good fortune which is a fantasy..By that I mean there's no such thing as luck and good fortune,and most people of either sex are quite ordinary once the hormones get back to normal..
What's the point of being with a Brad or Angelina if they're as dumb as a stump? As Oscar Wilde said "marriage is 97% conversation" -Arguably the worst combination is good looks,stupidity and meanness of spirit.
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RE: Marriage Poll
June 19, 2009 at 4:52 am
There is no reason believing in love that last forever long lasting love at all. It's simply a myth. Also marriages is just a unnecissary tradition which from the beginning just had to do with economical advantages.
You can love and admire a person. Freidnship for an example, loving your family and so on. But being in love for decades is not happening. You can love that person but it's not in the same way as it was from the beginning. Usally persons who have been married or together during a long period of time aren't attracted to eachother as they were when they first met. They love eachother, but it's more like friendship, which can be very strong depedning on the couple. Many couples witness of this.
Humans are not meant to be with the same partner for rest of their life, some animals however are. Like swans, they are that kind of animal that does this. Apes, monkey and most mammals don't have the same partner. In many cultures, both that are extinct and on going is it usual to have diffrent partners, also at the same time.
Since humans get attracted by others is the relationship based on sexual prefrences. As I said scientist have determine that attraction and in love feeling dissepear after a couple of year, or even before that, which are supported by looking at when people get divorced. As I said before, after a couple years does the relationship either evolve to more of a friendship kind of way. But I can also lead to hatred, hostillity or just that the people does not match anymore and they can leave as friends, which are rare, or just without fighting.
- Science is not trying to create an answer like religion, it tries to find an answer.
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