How to avoid shaking hands

[NoMoreFaith]

Which college in India did you learn English in again?

Its amazing how many colloquialisms they managed to teach.

Very peculiar that you had so many instances of problems shaking hands when it is not a universal greeting in that country. In fact, its universally known to be very very bad manners to initiate a handshake to a woman.

Your reticence to do so, should not even be an issue at all in India.

SO, anyway, my name is Shaheema and I live in India (ahhh yes, a beautiful country) and I used to be a Hindu.

All these years, and you never realised that nobody should expect a handshake in your own country.

However, your Poe stance is a little bit amusing all the same.

[frankiej]

Job interviews must be very tough for you.

[Zen Badger]

I guess random handjobs are out of the question then

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Hey Nikki Ninja, has this ever happened to you?

[Chuff]

I have been to India and it is indeed a beautiful country, and in my job I would say the majority of people I deal with on a daily basis are Indian.

While I was out there I was shaking hands with everyone, I guess I was the rudest guy in town

[Violet]

You mean you understood a single word they said, Chuff?

* Violet has been through the hell of outsourced Indian customer service... it's horrid. Just horrid.

[NoMoreFaith]

While I was out there I was shaking hands with everyone, I guess I was the rudest guy in town

If you were running around offering your hand to women yes!!

[The Grand Nudger]

Lol, well it's not like they have to shake back, dirty hookers wanted to touch his hand, they used his foreign manners as an excuse. Shameful.

[Violet]

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Assalamu allaykum my cognitively disabled friends once again... *ahem*

Sooooo here's the thing. I know that if a guy comes to me and wants to hug me, shake my hands, hi-five and whatever, I kindly explain to him why I can't do it because of my religion and I'm not trying to be offensive... and when you tell them once, they get the deal... I simply smile and say "Sorry, I don't want to shake hands with men"... for example a few years ago I once got an email to come down for an interview and I straightaway I thought to myself "Omg! Interview? MAN! HANDSHAKE! OMG!" and instead of emailing him and saying "yeah sure I can make it at X time" I replied asking him to NOT to shake my hand when I come down, and why... the man never replied to my email and he never gave me a date lol... but meh whatever. I was just trying to be extra cautious you know coz like, say if i forgot the handshake rule then at least he would've remembered that right? meh.

Actually this is gonna sound even stupider... I once had to go on stage to collect my certificates and it was an old man and the procedure was that we shake his hands and then take the certificate, so im debating in my head "Am I allowed? What am i supposed to do? How do i explain in front of everyone when we only get 2 seconds on the stage till the next person comes"... and so I was PANICKING inside my head. So this is what i did... I took the certificate and moved my hand, then old man moved his hand forward to shake it but when he saw that i moved it back he moved his back, but when i saw that he moved his hand forward to shake it I moved mine forward, lol. But I dunno how that ended tbh. meh.

This is also funny... whenever any guys try to shake hand of this saudi friend of mine she looks him up and down in a weird/scared/disgusted/awkward way and says "sorry I dont shake hands because of my religion"... that makes me crack up lol. perfect way to make a guy feel awkward and never reach for a niqabi's hands. Another time a guy tried to shake her hand, she just told him she isn't allowed to touch a guy for her religion. Then she goes "air handshake?". She also does air high fives. Its interesting, maybe a good idea? hmm

BUT... there have been cases where guys come up and puts out their hands in front of me and it's really REALLY weird. And at the same time it would be very offensive to them if I DIDN'T shake their hands. I feel like i'm in a VERY awkward situation and after shaking their hands I'm thinking to myself "OMG THAT WAS A MAN! OMG I JUST SHOOK A MAN'S HAND! GRRRRR! OMG! OMG! I'M GONNA DIE!!!"

I once even got the opportunity to explain to a Jewish lad why i don't touch guys and he goes "oh really well that works for us too! " and then he explained some concept with a fancy name that i've forgotten... but yeah, it's just really frustrating for me when a guy offer his hands for a handshake. Recently I was a guest receiver at an event... sadly I had to shake at least 10-11 non-muslim men's hands. I felt very uncomfortable but the coordinator kept saying "its okay, keep shaking hands, it is professional". I know this is going to sound stupid and maybe you think that I AM stupid for saying this (although that's not true)... but sometimes I think AFTER somethings happened to me.

So now my question is... what are some clever ways to AVOID shaking hands instead of telling them that "I don't want to because I'm a Muslim" EVERY single time? I mean, I have witnessed several times when muslimahs refused to shake hands and then the other person ended up being offended. So how to not offend people without shaking their hands? Like what are some ideas??? When I explain to someone that you do not shake hands with the opposite gender, what exactly should I say? What if the person is someone important like my BOSS or someone who is going to give me an award or say people who are going to INTERVIEW me?

For example maybe I can ask the person "hey dude when was the last time you washed your hands?" It's likely it's been a while, like for example he might have washed it before entering his car or something... so I can just tell the person that he prolly has a gazillion germs on his hands atm lol... and that I have OCD. Maybe I could also avoid shaking hands by carrying some stuff on my hands, or wrapping my hands around a towel or something, or pretend to fix my burkha when a guy approaches me, or by sneezing at the critical moment so that they don't reach for my hands, etc.

These are just some ideas but I dunno what you guys are thinking... so I just wanna know if there are any other ideas on how to AVOID shaking hands. lol.

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If only I could make a sock puppet to do what you do... would you at least *try* to be convincing, please?

On topic of OCD:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sl93s4siT4I

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrNKCSOdLqE

[Scarlet Pimpernel]

Well, I bear no real issues about whether to shake or not to shake hands, but I generally do not shake the hands of girls I barely know, outside the fact that they have a boyfriend.

Why?

I simply nod a greeting, they nod back.
With the rest, I shake hands, what really seems to be the problem?

The problem is discrimination: you treat girls differently than you do men.

And the most tragic aspect of this no-handshake business, the wearing of niqaabs, burkas, the walking 3 paces behind your man, etc. etc. is that IT HAS NOTHING WHATSOEVER TO DO WITH ISLAM! NOTHING ! The Qur'An does NOT require it. They aren't even mentioned in the Qur'An!
All this discrimination of women is purely a CULTURAL thing. Not religious!

So niqaab really demonstrates here how confused, misinformed, ignorant, and brainwashed Muslims are about their own faith...

[kılıç_mehmet]

Why?

Well, they have a boyfriend. I don't know them very well, so I rather abstain from any physical contact.

The problem is discrimination: you treat girls differently than you do men.

Friend, you have to.
Else, you should be able to hit a woman as you would a man, if they would insult you in public, or attack you.

I personally never did hit a woman, but I was tempted to.
Now, if I treated her the same I'd a man...

And the most tragic aspect of this no-handshake business, the wearing of niqaabs, burkas, the walking 3 paces behind your man, etc. etc. is that IT HAS NOTHING WHATSOEVER TO DO WITH ISLAM! NOTHING ! The Qur'An does NOT require it. They aren't even mentioned in the Qur'An!
All this discrimination of women is purely a CULTURAL thing. Not religious!

It does not matter if the Qur'an requires it or not, friend.
There is the sunnah, there is the hadith. Are you above these, or are you such a learned man of faith to state that these are not there?
I personally think that headcovering or any type of covering in Islam is rather...personal.
Discrimination, well, both men and women discriminate eachother on certain things.
Would you be able to have the same type of conversation you have with your fellow male, with another female?
I certainly would not.
And I also would not like it if a female came to me with a conversation topic that is usually discussed amongst girls. I see this as very rude, and a sign that she does not accept me as a man, but as a woman, that she comes up to me discussing female topics.