Someone want to trade families??

[Shell B]

I just realized that I said hubby was right without double checking the quote. I don't think he is right about you being mean. I think you are well intentioned. However, I think he is right that your kids should be able to see their grandma, even if she is sick. Just prepare them.

[Cato]

Not my hubby and kids, just my parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, etc. I'm seriously tired of dealing with their shit. Sorry, I'm just whining... I have to call my mom and explain why I haven't called her (though I've texted on several occasions) for 2 months... le sigh.
Perhaps I could fake my death...

My kids are older; 25 and 22. Can I throw one in to sweaten the deal? I fear that once we look at our hands after swapping that we will both still have shitty hands. You say whining, I say venting. We don't have a choice regarding our extended family.

I think I am fortunate. My mother had nine brothers and sisters resulting in me having 21 cousins. My youngest aunt is only six years older than I am. She's cool. There are a couple of uncles that I talk to with some frequency, and the few cousins that I grew up with can pick my brain. None of these people come close to the relationship I have with my friends. This fact bothered me for a little time, but I realized that I got to choose my friends. The members of my familiy that I am close to remind me of my friends.

I don't have many friends. I'd like to think I make up in quality what I lack in quantity, despite the natural friends I 'should' enjoy coming from a large family. Part of this problem is that I don't just throw around the term 'friend'.

Am I now whining? Perhaps. Fuck family unless they earn your trust as your friends had to. Genetic proximity to a womb is not a reasoned basis for demands on your time and affection.

[jonb]

On another note; mental illness is perfectly normal, I have heard it affects about one in ten to one in four of us, I myself am a sufferer in a small way. I thought the days of hiding the mad relative were behind us. My Mother has contracted alzheimer's and my niece with her two children (3 and & 7) regularly visit her. I was just hearing on the radio a woman with tourettes syndrome that works with nursery children. Don't hide things away peoples little foibles actually make us more informed and stronger. The problem with a lot of christian culture is that it tries to ignore those things which do not fit its world view. Part of the reason I call myself atheist is that, it partly shows I am open to things. I personally have learnt a lot from people who others would dismiss as mad, and my interactions with them have enriched my life.

[festive1]

Fly fishing is going to be much more relaxing than these people!

[KichigaiNeko]

One of life's injustices....

You don't get to chose your relatives.

[festive1]

On another note; mental illness is perfectly normal, I have heard it affects about one in ten to one in four of us, I myself am a sufferer in a small way. I thought the days of hiding the mad relative were behind us. My Mother has contracted alzheimer's and my niece with her two children (3 and & 7) regularly visit her. I was just hearing on the radio a woman with tourettes syndrome that works with nursery children. Don't hide things away peoples little foibles actually make us more informed and stronger. The problem with a lot of christian culture is that it tries to ignore those things which do not fit its world view. Part of the reason I call myself atheist is that, it partly shows I am open to things. I personally have learnt a lot from people who others would dismiss as mad, and my interactions with them have enriched my life.

I agree, mental illness is common, and should be dealt with head-on and explained in simple, age-appropriate terms to children. But there's a different level of complication... I am struggling with PTSD as a result of repeated childhood traumas that were completely overlooked and ignored. I admit that I have a tendency to go overboard in the protection part of my parenting role, which in some cases can be as damaging as the lack of protection. It is a difficult line for me to walk between appropriately protecting my kids vs. being too over-protective. There's also the adult responsibility aspect of mental illness which varies from case to case (considering the type and severity of the illness in question)... Like my dad who is bipolar, but often goes off his meds and doesn't take care of himself. His disease would be better managed if he took his meds and took proper care of himself (diet, exercise, sleeping habits, etc.). He's not adult about facing his problems, he'd rather pretend that he's perfectly fine, which is obviously not the case.
For what it's worth, my kids have only seen their grandmother once a year and aren't close with her. Her choice, not mine. She told me the first time she met my oldest when he was 4 or 5 months old and I asked if she wanted to hold him, "No, I don't like little kids. They don't get interesting until they are 12 or so." So am I being over-protective, perhaps... Am I projecting my fears of trauma onto this situation, maybe... But her anxiety and paranoia (she's been anxious and slightly paranoid since I met her over a decade ago, but it's recently gotten to a point where other family members are becoming concerned, not just my heightened PTSD radar) don't mix well with my PTSD either, so it's hard for me to be as good of a parent as I can around her.
Thanks everyone for "listening" and giving your views. I really do appreciate it. My views of "normal" and "appropriate" can be wonky, it's often helpful for me to bounce these things around and get different perspectives.

[Mister Agenda]

Mind are fundies, my elderly father being the worst of them. He's my dad though, y'know?

[popeyespappy]

I have a large extended family as illustrated in this photo of most (but not all) of Mom’s side of the family from the 70’s.



Some of these people are dead now and a lot more have been born since. A whole new generation in fact. There are professionals, teachers, tradesmen, illiterate bums and a schizophrenic represented here. For the most part the lot of them are overly religious. With one exception though they are all good people who would literally give a stranger the shirt off their back. The one exception I would happily give a ride to the nearest soylent green factory for recycling.

[Jackalope]

Well... maybe not my siblings... I'll give you my dad and aunts for the aforementioned trade. Hell, they may even like living in Columbia as drug mules.

Wait, not so fast! I'll match his bid and throw in a whoopie cushion and a rubber chicken, so long as you don't ask where they're going.

Cthulhu D.
COO
Soylent Green, Inc.

[jonb]

Well... maybe not my siblings... I'll give you my dad and aunts for the aforementioned trade. Hell, they may even like living in Columbia as drug mules.

Wait, not so fast! I'll match his bid and throw in a whoopie cushion and a rubber chicken, so long as you don't ask where they're going.

Cthulhu D.
COO
Soylent Green, Inc.

How can I even hope to match that? As usual the rich gets what they want and the rest of us have to go to the wall. Capitalism; it just ain't fair.