Hall of wit and epicness.

[Losty]

😂

[vulcanlogician]

Where most christians look around them and see a decent religion that people fail at, I see a failure of a religion that decent people drag around like a rock.

You missed vicarious redemption, though.  The central and possibly most twisted component of christian faith.

This just belongs here.

[LadyForCamus]

Thanks for this one, Nay_Sayer:

USA! I'm with Biker. The actual solution lies within arming everyone but also everything;
Mounted turrets on all doors
Full ballistic armor for every citizen, Special fun-size vests for kids in cool colors and printed action heroes or princesses in time for school
Armed guards to protect the armed guards at malls
New gun shoes. Shoes with small single-shot pistols in the toe, Triggered by a hard stomp or whistle for you runners.
Gun checkpoints. These would ensure that any citizen not carrying the minimum allowed 4 gun protection would be given one
Free AK-47's with every 6th ice cream cone purchase at participating Baskin Robbins.
Gun for pets. No longer will fido have to feel the injustice of having his right to bear arms denied.
Tommy guns for Tots program. Now children can learn in safety when you trade in a stuffy book for a full auto
Arming Cashiers with a specially made scan gun that doesn't just check prices but checks those filthy (Obviously brown) criminals into the smackdown hotel
Free penis enlargements pills or surgery [Likely not to be used as we know every full American blooded male gun owner packs a mighty walloping dick)
Bullet bandolier bras, for you ladies.
Better discounts on bullets as well as better armor-piercing rounds
Increased clips, Americans will not be safe until they have 500 round capacity magazines
And I'm proud to be an Americaaaaaaaaaaan
Where at least I know I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
And I won't forget the kids who died
Who gave that right to meeeeeeeeee

And I gladly stand uuuuuuuuuuuuup
Next to you and defend her still today
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand
FSM bless the USAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!