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December 18, 2012 at 1:28 am (This post was last modified: December 18, 2012 at 1:32 am by Cato.)
(December 18, 2012 at 1:24 am)Faith No More Wrote: The worst part about this story is that the person considers that a bad day. Suck it up, pussy.
Hey, you're dangerously close to violating my TM. When I was an engineering supervisor on a nuc sub, I used to carry around a couple crazy straws. If a young man started bitching I'd whip one one out and say "suck it up"!
(December 18, 2012 at 1:21 am)Brian37 Wrote:
(December 18, 2012 at 1:07 am)Ziploc Surprise Wrote: I got it at the place where I get most of my nonsense. A fundamentalist friend of mine posted it on my facebook page. I thought it too precious not to share.
Holly shit I really wish people like this were rare. But working in a kitchen where the radio in it is set on the same station with devotional gospel music a the same time every day my co-workers sing along with it "NO BODY GREATER"(Than Jesus's daddy/himself)
Rare? Not quite. In the Atlanta area it is 104.7 The Fish, "Safe For the Whole Family".
(December 18, 2012 at 12:53 am)Ziploc Surprise Wrote: God: What do u mean?
God: Huummm
God: Your phone went dead bcuz the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.
Fuck man, god communicates like my damn teenagers.
December 18, 2012 at 4:10 am (This post was last modified: December 18, 2012 at 4:11 am by KichigaiNeko.)
(December 18, 2012 at 12:53 am)Ziploc Surprise Wrote: Thank you Jesus for showing me this.....not.
Me: God, can I ask You a question?
God: Sure
Me: Promise You won't get mad
God: I promise
Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?
God: What do u mean?
Me: Well, I woke up late
God: Yes
Me: My car took forever to start
God: Okay
Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait
God: Huummm
Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call
God: All right
Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?
God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one
of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that
Me (humbled): OH
GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.
Me: (ashamed)
God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.
Me (embarrassed)kay
God: Your phone went dead bcuz the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.
Me (softly): I see God
God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.
Me: I'm Sorry God
God: Don't be sorry, just learn to Trust Me.... in All things , the Good & the bad.
Me: I will trust You.
God: And don't doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.
Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today.
God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children...
Right now 100 ways to spoof this thing are running through my mind. The darker side of me wants to make this horrific. I think of that photo of the starving child with the buzzard behind him and want to add that to this spoof. God that's sick.
Here is another version of the same thing...thought I recognised it.
"The Universe is run by the complex interweaving of three elements: energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest." G'Kar-B5
(December 18, 2012 at 12:53 am)Ziploc Surprise Wrote: Thank you Jesus for showing me this.....not.
Me: God, can I ask You a question?
God: Sure
Me: Promise You won't get mad
God: I promise
Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?
God: What do u mean?
Me: Well, I woke up late
God: Yes
Me: My car took forever to start
God: Okay
Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait
God: Huummm
Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call
God: All right
Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?
God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one
of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that
Me (humbled): OH
GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.
Me: (ashamed)
God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.
Me (embarrassed)kay
God: Your phone went dead bcuz the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.
Me (softly): I see God
God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.
Me: I'm Sorry God
God: Don't be sorry, just learn to Trust Me.... in All things , the Good & the bad.
Me: I will trust You.
God: And don't doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.
Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today.
God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children...
Right now 100 ways to spoof this thing are running through my mind. The darker side of me wants to make this horrific. I think of that photo of the starving child with the buzzard behind him and want to add that to this spoof. God that's sick.
So god did all of this but didn't stop 20 children from being murdered.....
Would any of our theist members care to comment on why this is so.
If you're not supposed to ride faster than your guardian angel can fly then mine had better get a bloody SR-71.
December 18, 2012 at 2:31 pm (This post was last modified: December 18, 2012 at 2:34 pm by ronedee.)
LOL! The continuing saga of blaming the woes of the world on someone who doesn't exist! It's akin to talking to no one on the phone! Or knocking on a replacement door at Home Depot.
Why don't you just nod your heads, smile..... and float by? He only talks to us!
Whynot.... get off your phat asses, roll-up your sleeves and help all those people you talk about? One anti in another thread gave all his "xmas budget money" [one] year to the homeless to "feel good"! There's a model for ya! You could all use a little "feel good" cheer around here!
What are there....200 million or more atheists in the world? If you all got together I'd bet you could make a real difference in the lives of those less fortunate than yourselves! Save a few babies starving in Africa, or make one child with cancer happy this Christmas!! Or visit someone who can only move her eyes in a hospital somewhere.
Or...would you rather leave it to the numerous Christian groups to do it for you?
Riddle-me-this anti-man..."What would YOU pay for eternal life?"
Or..are you afraid of another "trick question" from the lone Catholic!
(December 18, 2012 at 3:03 pm)ronedee Wrote: I knew this would eventually rear its ugly noggin!
Why stop there?! What about the 6 million Jews murdered in Europe? Or any of the mass-murders committed over the ions!
I know the reason...but you wouldn't understand it! Or want to understand it!
Just like you, or anyone here don't/won't understand God, or anyone of Faith.
So use your brains [if applicable] to figure it out! Y'all have the answers to everything anyway!
There's the easy way for you....keep blaming the God, that you don "think" exists!
You are right, we don't understand theists. We don't understand why do you have to make charity on the name of something unexistant, we don't understand why if your god existed, he had the need to kill himself (or his son or whatever stupidity you concoct from your apologetic mind), for the good of humanity, we don't understand why a poor deluded woman had to evangelize kids in his name, we don't understand why such a powerfull being needs to be worshipped, we don't understand why does he hides from us, we don't understand why the world can be explained perfectly by natural means.
Stop trying to make other be hypocrites, because probably most atheists on this forum have helped in charity more than you. Its just that we don't flaunt our charity as a way to charge some unexistent deity for a place in a 'heaven', we do it because we are humans and we know other humans suffer.
kay
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