My Crazy Grandmother

[My imaginary friend is GOD]

I just want to share this with you, and see what reactions come out of it. My grandmother is crazy. She's been trying to kill herself since before I was born (1989). She is an alcoholic and addicted to prescription drugs. She says I would be better off if my mother was dead, and also if I was dead. She once spent literally all her money on a red sports car that she couldn't even fit in (she's gained a lot of weight over the years because of the drugs). What do you do with someone like that?

My mother insists on talking to my grandmother (her mother) on the phone, and having Thanksgivings and Christmases with my grandmother, even though she knows my grandmother is toxic and giving her any attention only makes her worse. The best thing my mother could do for herself and for her family is cut off ties completely, but she won't do that because my grandmother is family, and part of her thinks my grandmother is still the person she was while my mom was growing up, this magnetic, creative, beautiful woman that everybody wanted to be close to. Is she right not to shun my grandmother?

I avoid my grandmother as much as possible. I take her money when she offers it to me and ignore the strings she tries to attach to it (she uses money to try to control people and buy their love). I say I love her, though I'm not sure if I do, since she has been trying to use and control me to get her way my entire life, and she doesn't seem to love me enough to even be bothered to stop trying to kill herself. When I have children, if she is still alive, I plan for her to not know where we live and not be in my children's lives. Am I too harsh?

[Minimalist]

No.

She's mentally ill. Why would you want to expose your children to that?

[paulpablo]

I don't have much money so if i was in that situation I'd just take the money and follow her bidding and allow her to go wild.

[Phish]

give her some LSD or brownies this is the only cure for your grandmother

[thesummerqueen]

Sounds like she needs to be committed, quite honestly, but having experienced certain amounts of crazy in my dad's side, and knowing several people with family members who are at the level you describe...good luck having that happen. For some reason it's hard as hell for family to see when those people really need help.

[My imaginary friend is GOD]

Sounds like she needs to be committed, quite honestly, but having experienced certain amounts of crazy in my dad's side, and knowing several people with family members who are at the level you describe...good luck having that happen. For some reason it's hard as hell for family to see when those people really need help.

Oh, she's been committed. Recently, in fact. It didn't seem to help. Instead, she got the attention and drama that she wanted and was worse for a while.

[Gilgamesh]

Her being family isn't relevant. Also, if she was trying to kill herself for that long, she would have succeeded by now. She sounds like a disgusting human being so fuck her.

[My imaginary friend is GOD]

Also, if she was trying to kill herself for that long, she would have succeeded by now.

Not really. Her method of suicide is just really inefficient. She swallows pills. Then she calls everyone she knows and says she swallowed pills. Then somebody calls an ambulance and she goes to the hospital and has her stomach pumped. I don't think she can resist calling everybody because it's so dramatic.

[Gilgamesh]

Not really. Her method of suicide is just really inefficient. She swallows pills. Then she calls everyone she knows and says she swallowed pills. Then somebody calls an ambulance and she goes to the hospital and has her stomach pumped. I don't think she can resist calling everybody because it's so dramatic.

She's not trying to kill herself hard enough, then. If she wanted to die, she wouldn't notify anybody - or she'd be taking the right kind of pills; the kind that are gonna' leave her dead no matter when the ambulance gets there.

[thesummerqueen]

Oh, she's been committed. Recently, in fact. It didn't seem to help. Instead, she got the attention and drama that she wanted and was worse for a while.

I'm not sure what to suggest, then.

My aunt is a shadow version of that. A crazy right wing fuck nut to boot. We mostly ignore her and don't visit. She hasn't threatened suicide to us, but I haven't asked my cousin if she has to him. In fact, I don't have much to do with any of that side of the family, partially because my second cousin kept reminding me we were ONLY second cousins when I was up there for a funeral. o_O

My dad and I have chatted about it because they're both getting on in years and he doesn't want family possessions to get snookered up by her. We haven't come up with a viable solution except making sure legally things are too tied up for her to sink her claws into. Much like your grandmother, any time decisions like this are made it's just fuel for her martyr complex.

The best I can suggest is to consult a mental health professional about how best to deal with it and her, and see if there's something that can be done besides committing her, if that didn't help.