Having a case of double depression

[JosephBowie]

Okay, first off, I didn't know where to put this; there isn't really a section in the forum for when any of us have a breakdown. And second, I know I haven't been online in a very long time. I've been busy, is all.

Anyway, as the thread subject suggests, I am having a case of double depression; an event which, as some of you might know, is fucking awful. If you don't know what double depression is, it's basically a big, fat depression cake. Sometimes people suffer an episode of major depression on top of an already existing case of Dysthymia.

My mind is going downhill quite sharply. I've decided to not have any relationships or children, as my brain has decided that it has to put up with enough people as it is and doesn't need any more on top of them. I've been depriving myself of sleep because I find the eventual hallucinations entertaining. My disdain for other people has grown significantly stronger. All that coupled with the fact that I now officially have late-onset OCD means I'm going bloody batshit.

I'm sure I'll get better in a day or so, but I need something until then. I'm not entirely sure what; I just need something.

[Kayenneh]

As a layman I would say that go see your therapist (if you have one), if you're on medication be sure to take them and live one hour at the time. If there is anything that interests you and you feel like you have the energy to put on it, do it.

[Napoléon]

I'm sure I'll get better in a day or so, but I need something until then. I'm not entirely sure what; I just need something.

Try sleeping.

[Faith No More]

Do what you can to distract yourself and make the time pass until the depression is no longer as severe. Sleeping can help, as Napo said, but just make sure you understand that is only a short-term solution and can be detrimental if used as a long-term coping mechanism. Do your best to stay away from temporary fixes that end up making things worse in the long run, like drugs. Trying to make life changes in the middle of an episode is difficult and can have negative effects if you are unable to succeed due to the episode, which is why I suggest just doing your best to make the time pass.

As for the no children thing, I said that once. Now I'm the happy father of a two year-old. You can make things change, just don't expect them to happen on their own.

Good luck.

[Angrboda]

I'm sorry to hear that you aren't well. It's good to see you posting again, though. I've been in a depression since early December, but I'm managing.

I'm not sure I fully understand your reasons for swearing off relationships. I've sworn off relationships because I know dealing with me and my chronic suicidalism is more of a burden than I would want to put on another person. Still, I miss sex. A lot. When I was younger, I commented to a friend that I was avoiding relationships until I "got myself together." His response was that I had it backwards, that we get ourselves together through relating to other people. While granted, this isn't always the case, I think it's a valid point that people and relationships can be either a disadvantage, or an advantage (or both, simultaneously). I know the work I did as a volunteer when I was younger contributed greatly to my life and my development.

Anyway, glad to hear from you again. I hope you weather the current storm successfully and return more often.

[Minimalist]

I am not qualified to make suggestions. If you don't have a therapist call a suicide prevention hotline or something. Maybe they can make a recommendation.

[JosephBowie]

Thanks for being so nice about this, all. But I should note that I am in no way suicidal. And that the whole "no children" thing is mostly because I know I'd be an awful father, and would hate to be one to a child. And also that I no longer have a therapist. My old one just gave me drugs and sent me on my merry way every week. Not exactly helpful, that.

Anyway, I'm getting better. Went to sleep for the first time in about two days. Also, asthma attacks are apparently a good way to take your mind off whatever's getting me down. So yeah, I'm basically all right now; at least as all right as I normally am.

Thanks again for being nice and supportive. I think I need more of that in my regular, not on the internet life.

[Kayenneh]

Thanks again for being nice and supportive. I think I need more of that in my regular, not on the internet life.

That is probably true for most people..

But it is good to hear that you are feeling at least a little bit better.

[Aractus]

Anyway, as the thread subject suggests, I am having a case of double depression; an event which, as some of you might know, is fucking awful. If you don't know what double depression is, it's basically a big, fat depression cake. Sometimes people suffer an episode of major depression on top of an already existing case of Dysthymia.

Well depression is a very normal state in and of itself that everyone experiences from time to time. I think it's important to remember this when you go through depression - although it often may seem like it will last forever, it won't.

I have had other emotions myself this year - well late last year into this year - I'll make my own thread actually so I don't too sidetracked in yours - but my point is that we are the primary care givers for our own health (physical, spiritual, emotional). Maybe you can remember a time in the past when you got depressed and then got past it - try to remember how you did this, the things that brought you calmness and comfort, the people, etc.

My mind is going downhill quite sharply. I've decided to not have any relationships or children, as my brain has decided that it has to put up with enough people as it is and doesn't need any more on top of them. I've been depriving myself of sleep because I find the eventual hallucinations entertaining. My disdain for other people has grown significantly stronger. All that coupled with the fact that I now officially have late-onset OCD means I'm going bloody batshit.

Yep sounds like there's a fw things in there which are out of your control, and a few that are in your control, and that it's a recipe for "bloody batshit".

I'm sure I'll get better in a day or so, but I need something until then. I'm not entirely sure what; I just need something.

Sweet, I hope to hear it! All the best.

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Thanks again for being nice and supportive. I think I need more of that in my regular, not on the internet life.

Yep, and you're not the only one that need it either bro!