New Members Needed

[Rahul]

Hey Guys, you should all come join Christianity. It's a really cool religion. Whoops, I meant it's like this old cult thing from the middle east that originated back a couple thousand years ago by a sect of jews. Back then they were like the smartest people around because they could read and write and shit.

It's all about...um...wait. It's like there's god, right? And he's all pissed off at us because we don't do what he wants us to do. Like fornicating or drinking light beer. We follow our god given impulses and commit sins and stuff.

Cause being good means ignoring our natural urges that god gave us. I mean he created everything. All those 100 billion galaxies with like a billion stars each. But if you take his name in vain, whoo boy, that really pisses him off. That's some serious shit.

God don't play.

Of course, most people don't really understand what god is all about. He isn't some big meany that invented hell just for torturing your ass for eternity if you jerk off in the bathroom. He's a loving god and he was worshipped by just about everyone back in the days before we had all this nerdy science shit telling lies. Right here in Genesis it says, whoa, sorry, I was just reading a few verses. Jesus, who the fuck wrote this shit?

Oh yeah, there's some old guy that said something cool last Sunday about everything being forgiven. Isn't that great? I didn't even realize I needed to be forgiven before I heard about this stuff. That's the kind of attitude we need today, when everyone spends all their free time getting involved in flame wars on forums and going to Bieber concerts.

You just got to stay away from those evolutionists that hate god and want to destroy everything. I think they make up all this shit about us being related to monkeys because they got busted screwing a gibbon after closing hours at their local zoo. I mean, ok, we got over the whole earth revolving around the sun thing, but that's just one step too far.

Kay. Thanks. Bye.

[Faith No More]

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[Rahul]

[Faith No More]

[Doubting Thomas]

Come join Scientology. Because the stuff that a science fiction writer wrote in this one book is totally real unlike all his other works that he just made up.

[Pandas United]

I know you are being fatuous in your OP, but this is exactly the kind of stuff that draws me away from this forum. Isn't this board here to discuss the things of Christianity? Instead I see countless threads that have nothing substantive to read. Just ridicule, caricatures, and posts like this that do nothing but lower the bar for intellectual discourse.

[FifthElement]

[fr0d0]

I know you are being fatuous in your OP, but this is exactly the kind of stuff that draws me away from this forum. Isn't this board here to discuss the things of Christianity? Instead I see countless threads that have nothing substantive to read. Just ridicule, caricatures, and posts like this that do nothing but lower the bar for intellectual discourse.

This thread should be in the humour section, it's true. So should most of the posts in most threads, also true.

[Minimalist]

Isn't this board here to discuss the things of Christianity?

No.

All theists are allowed - provided they don't get too preachy. Let me guess. You think your god is REAL and all other gods are FALSE?

[fr0d0]

All theists and atheists are allowed - provided they don't get too preachy.

<preachy bit removed>