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Current time: December 15, 2024, 3:10 pm

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Terrible yet hilarious jokes thread
#11
RE: Terrible yet hilarious jokes thread
I had dinner at that new lunar restaurant.

Great food, awesome service, but no atmosphere.
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#12
Re: Terrible yet hilarious jokes thread
Two drums and a cymbal fall down the stairs




At what time did Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon?




How much is cockney shampoo?


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#13
RE: Terrible yet hilarious jokes thread
A priest and a child molester walk into a bar


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#14
RE: Terrible yet hilarious jokes thread
(June 13, 2013 at 6:17 pm)NoraBrimstone Wrote: Two drums and a cymbal fall down the stairs



http://instantrimshot.com/

A Christian walked into a bar, but the atheist had his eyes open and ducked.

Protestants don't recognize the authority of the Pope, Catholics don't recognize Jews as being saved from Hell, and Baptists pretend to not recognize each other in a liquor store.
Christian apologetics is the art of rolling a dog turd in sugar and selling it as a donut.
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#15
RE: Terrible yet hilarious jokes thread
Why did the Mexican throw his wife off a cliff?



What's red and smells like blue paint?



What does a vegan zombie say?

"Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it" - Robert A. Heinlein
Would you blame sports car for an accident instead of drunk driver?
Good guy Ronald Reagan

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#16
RE: Terrible yet hilarious jokes thread
Invisibility cloak? I'll believe that when I see it!
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#17
RE: Terrible yet hilarious jokes thread
Can we do anti-jokes as well?

Why did the boy drop his ice cream?


freedomfromfallacy » I'm weighing my tears to see if the happy ones weigh the same as the sad ones.
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#18
RE: Terrible yet hilarious jokes thread
Quote:Jesus and Moses are playing a pro-am at Pebble Beach with Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson, when they get to #8, a par 4 dogleg right. The pros hit 300 yard drives into the approach, taking the water out of play, but Jesus and Moses hit tee shots that leave them on the right edge of the fairway, about two hundred from the green, over the ocean.

They get to their balls and Moses says, "I'm not that good, I'm going to lay up to the left." So, he takes out his pitching wedge and hits a nice shot into the fairway, leaving him about 100 yards from the green.

Jesus says, "I'm going for it." and pulls out his 7 iron.

Moses says, "What are you doing, that's two hundred yards! You should use your 3 iron!"

Jesus says, "Hey, Arnold Palmer hits his 7 iron two hundred yards!" He lines up and takes the shot, which is perfectly on line but lands in the water short of the green.

Jesus raises his hand, and his ball floats to the top, bobbing on the waves. He grabs his gap wedge and walks out on the water, and hits a nice chip to the center of the green.

Tiger walks over to Moses and says, "Who's he think he is, Jesus Christ?"

Moses says "No, he thinks he's Arnold Palmer!"
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#19
RE: Terrible yet hilarious jokes thread
How do you get a nun pregnant?




How do you get a witch pregnant?




Two gay guys die while having sex. Who goes to heaven first, the guy on the top or the guy on the bottom?

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#20
RE: Terrible yet hilarious jokes thread
Why doesn't jesus play hockey?

Because he's scared of getting nailed to the boards.
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