Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: November 7, 2024, 9:29 pm
Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
Terrible yet hilarious jokes thread

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
Terrible yet hilarious jokes thread
Jackalope Offline
Elon Musk owes me money
*******
Religious Views: Absent
Posts: 30973
Threads: 204
Joined: July 19, 2011
Reputation: 141
#11
RE: Terrible yet hilarious jokes thread
June 13, 2013 at 6:17 pm
I had dinner at that new lunar restaurant.

Great food, awesome service, but no atmosphere.
Find
Reply
NoraBrimstone Offline Donators
Londoner
*****
Religious Views: Humanist
Posts: 2968
Threads: 10
Joined: June 2, 2012
Reputation: 44
#12
Re: Terrible yet hilarious jokes thread
June 13, 2013 at 6:17 pm (This post was last modified: June 13, 2013 at 6:20 pm by NoraBrimstone.)
Two drums and a cymbal fall down the stairs




At what time did Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon?




How much is cockney shampoo?


Find
Reply
Jackalope Offline
Elon Musk owes me money
*******
Religious Views: Absent
Posts: 30973
Threads: 204
Joined: July 19, 2011
Reputation: 141
#13
RE: Terrible yet hilarious jokes thread
June 13, 2013 at 6:19 pm
A priest and a child molester walk into a bar


Find
Reply
Doubting Thomas Offline
El Conquistador
****
Religious Views: Atheist
Posts: 4940
Threads: 99
Joined: April 17, 2011
Reputation: 45
#14
RE: Terrible yet hilarious jokes thread
June 13, 2013 at 6:31 pm (This post was last modified: June 13, 2013 at 6:33 pm by Doubting Thomas.)
(June 13, 2013 at 6:17 pm)NoraBrimstone Wrote: Two drums and a cymbal fall down the stairs



http://instantrimshot.com/
A Christian walked into a bar, but the atheist had his eyes open and ducked.

Protestants don't recognize the authority of the Pope, Catholics don't recognize Jews as being saved from Hell, and Baptists pretend to not recognize each other in a liquor store.
Christian apologetics is the art of rolling a dog turd in sugar and selling it as a donut.
Find
Reply
wwjs Offline
I support the right to keep & arm bears
**
Religious Views: Try not to be a cunt
Posts: 364
Threads: 5
Joined: April 23, 2013
Reputation: 6
#15
RE: Terrible yet hilarious jokes thread
June 13, 2013 at 6:38 pm
Why did the Mexican throw his wife off a cliff?



What's red and smells like blue paint?



What does a vegan zombie say?

"Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it" - Robert A. Heinlein
Would you blame sports car for an accident instead of drunk driver?
Good guy Ronald Reagan

Find
Reply
Jackalope Offline
Elon Musk owes me money
*******
Religious Views: Absent
Posts: 30973
Threads: 204
Joined: July 19, 2011
Reputation: 141
#16
RE: Terrible yet hilarious jokes thread
June 14, 2013 at 5:00 pm
Invisibility cloak? I'll believe that when I see it!
Find
Reply
Tartarus Sauce Offline
Feline Fanatic
***
Religious Views: Church of Bub
Posts: 1401
Threads: 7
Joined: March 6, 2013
Reputation: 36
#17
RE: Terrible yet hilarious jokes thread
June 14, 2013 at 6:07 pm (This post was last modified: June 14, 2013 at 6:08 pm by Tartarus Sauce.)
Can we do anti-jokes as well?

Why did the boy drop his ice cream?


freedomfromfallacy » I'm weighing my tears to see if the happy ones weigh the same as the sad ones.
Find
Reply
Minimalist Offline Donators
Go Blow Jesus Out Your Ass
*****
Religious Views: Fuck It
Posts: 69247
Threads: 3759
Joined: August 2, 2009
Reputation: 259
#18
RE: Terrible yet hilarious jokes thread
June 14, 2013 at 6:09 pm
Quote:Jesus and Moses are playing a pro-am at Pebble Beach with Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson, when they get to #8, a par 4 dogleg right. The pros hit 300 yard drives into the approach, taking the water out of play, but Jesus and Moses hit tee shots that leave them on the right edge of the fairway, about two hundred from the green, over the ocean.

They get to their balls and Moses says, "I'm not that good, I'm going to lay up to the left." So, he takes out his pitching wedge and hits a nice shot into the fairway, leaving him about 100 yards from the green.

Jesus says, "I'm going for it." and pulls out his 7 iron.

Moses says, "What are you doing, that's two hundred yards! You should use your 3 iron!"

Jesus says, "Hey, Arnold Palmer hits his 7 iron two hundred yards!" He lines up and takes the shot, which is perfectly on line but lands in the water short of the green.

Jesus raises his hand, and his ball floats to the top, bobbing on the waves. He grabs his gap wedge and walks out on the water, and hits a nice chip to the center of the green.

Tiger walks over to Moses and says, "Who's he think he is, Jesus Christ?"

Moses says "No, he thinks he's Arnold Palmer!"
Find
Reply
catfish Offline
Banned
Religious Views: Personal and unique
Posts: 2911
Threads: 11
Joined: July 20, 2012
Reputation: 16
#19
RE: Terrible yet hilarious jokes thread
June 14, 2013 at 6:59 pm
How do you get a nun pregnant?



How do you get a witch pregnant?



Two gay guys die while having sex. Who goes to heaven first, the guy on the top or the guy on the bottom?

Find
Reply
Minimalist Offline Donators
Go Blow Jesus Out Your Ass
*****
Religious Views: Fuck It
Posts: 69247
Threads: 3759
Joined: August 2, 2009
Reputation: 259
#20
RE: Terrible yet hilarious jokes thread
June 14, 2013 at 7:10 pm
Why doesn't jesus play hockey?

Because he's scared of getting nailed to the boards.
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
Terrible yet hilarious jokes thread

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Get any snow yet? Gawdzilla Sama 27 2313 November 1, 2023 at 6:48 pm
Last Post: Gawdzilla Sama
  Jokes you've pulled on friends... Brian37 51 4271 February 29, 2020 at 8:14 pm
Last Post: The Valkyrie
  Dad jokes? BrokenQuill92 13 1522 December 22, 2019 at 11:20 pm
Last Post: BrokenQuill92
  Knock-knock jokes, atheist style. Reltzik 4 1148 November 21, 2018 at 9:06 am
Last Post: polymath257
  Swearing birds! Hilarious... ignoramus 1 592 December 21, 2017 at 5:59 am
Last Post: KittyAnn
  Holy sh*t, this is freaking hilarious!!!!! Catholic_Lady 22 3874 September 25, 2017 at 12:12 am
Last Post: ignoramus
  Creationism Jokes ScienceAf 2 1523 August 19, 2016 at 10:27 pm
Last Post: Chad32
  The "You really mustn't derail this thread" thread. Edwardo Piet 69 10054 January 19, 2016 at 1:14 pm
Last Post: brewer
  The "You really must derail this thread" thread. Marsellus Wallace 20 4635 January 19, 2016 at 7:15 am
Last Post: ignoramus
  Fart Jokes - Historically Minimalist 7 2133 September 20, 2015 at 4:18 pm
Last Post: Minimalist



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)