The Last Movie You Watched

[pocaracas]

Did a marathon this weekend...

Top Gun (1986) and Top Gun Maverick (2022)
- It was a good sequel. Worth watching.

Hot Shots! (1991) and Hot Shots! Part Deux (1993)
The first parodies Top Gun, the second parodies Rambo 2 and 3.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Nobody.

Saw that, kinda liked it. Went off the rails at the end, though.

Quite the departure for Odenkirk.

Boru

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Rewatched ‘Field of Dreams’, pretty much in memory of Ray Liotta.

Great film, even though it had Kevin Costner in it.

Boru

[arewethereyet]

Rewatched ‘Field of Dreams’, pretty much in memory of Ray Liotta.

Great film, even though it had Kevin Costner in it.

Boru

Field of Dreams is right outside of my hometown.  I know some of the extras and some of the ghost players.  The man who owned the farm was a client of my dad's.  I watch it now and then for nostalgia.  And it's a good movie.

[arewethereyet]

Tried watching 'Gone Girl' the other day and made it halfway through. I listened to the audiobook a couple years ago and liked it well enough as I did another book by the same author. I finally gave up; I simply don't care for Ben Affleck. I must be one of the few people who don't get it when it comes to him. I've never been impressed.

[Rev. Rye]

This week in the Deep Hurting Project: Leo the Lion. It's an Italian ripoff of The Lion King that got a dub by the Weinstein Company. Well, it's Pride month and before we get to the actual gay stuff, we might as well start with something that involves a pride, even if it is just a pride of lions.

• Leo the lion preferred to eat grass. And he died shortly after deciding this because of malnutrition.
  
• It's a bit strange that Leo's mother tried to teach him to hunt, especially since it's the females who do the bulk of the hunting. Indeed, it's only fairly recently that we found out male lions hunted at all.
  
• Why does he need to be safe in the heart of the jungle? It's a fucking apex predator and there's no humans in sight. Hell, looking on Wikipeia's article on Apex Predators, a picture of a lion is the first thing we see.
  
• And between going on a diet that runs counter to a lion's nutritional needs and staying far away from water, Leo died even quicker than previously anticipated, but not quick enough for there to not be an hour left in this movie.
  
• Why are the monkeys wearing Rasta hats?
  
• Who the Christ is narrating? Apparently, it's Uncle Lope, but there's occasional cutaways that look like Leo's the one narrating.
  
• Apparently, the elephant babies imprinted on  Leo.
  
  
  
• You know, it's one thing that everyone has human-like teeth, but do they all have to be so prominent? And why did Uncle Lope's teeth almost fall out? How did he even get dentures in the wild?
  
• Why is this a musical now? It's about a quarter way through the film. All I know is the lyrics sound more like a song about Harvey Weinstein.
  
• I'm sorry, I got a bit sidetracked looking for clips from the episode of Regular Show where Rigby has a bunch of baby ducks imprint on him that I must have forgotten that Leo now has a baby leopard and chimp baby following him.
  
• X-Trange? Is that supposed to mean something?
  
• The second musical number was so bad that the only hints I even got that it was supposed to be a song until about a minute in are the rhyming and the subtitles.
  
• Okay, now I just figured out that the elephant babies have their tails tied together, and they have to cross a long with one walking backwards and the other walking forwards like a Pushme-Pullyu. And I remember that according to the So Bad It's Horrible page on TVTropes, it ends with a song about how Leo's a vegetarian... is this supposed to be an homage to Doctor Dolittle?
  
• What's with all the random slo-mo?
  
• Why would the vultures be drawn to the babies? They'd have to be close to dead for that to be on their radar, and not just starting to get hungry.
  
• Oh, yeah, I forgot, Maximus has a dart in his ass. And how did the hunters who were looking for him manage to lose track of him long enough for him to go to the elephant graveyard
  
• The elephants are dancing to royalty-free Blues. Why the fuck not? 
  
• So, Leo has to force the zebra mom to give him and the babies some milk. Why do I get the feeling this is what attracted Harvey Weinstein to this movie?
  
• Leo, we need to see this: this rainbow  goes Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet, Red, Orange, Yellow! I've never seen something like this before!
  
• That chameleon's randomly teleporting short distance. And why does it have a Tudor neck ruff that keeps changing colour? And why does it keep changing heads?
  
• You know, having to get into the Heart of the Jungle via a rainbow, even if it's just Indigo, Violet, Red, Orange, Yellow, and Green with no blue makes it a surprisingly fitting choice for Pride Month.
  
• Huh. As intelligent as the chameleon is supposed to be, she delivered the elephant babies right to Maximus. And are we still going to ignore how he was shot in the ass by humans who wanted to take him to the zoo?
  
• Why do I get the feeling that Maximus wants to say something like "I'll rape your daughter on your grave"?
  
• And Uncle Lope is dying now for some reason, why the fuck not?
  
• How did they not figure out that Leo is a vegetarian when the babies were born?
  
• The lion mentioned foul play? When? He just said there was a fire. And how the fuck does he know that the Elephant king betrayed by Maximus? And how does this lead to the circle painted on her forehead falling off?
  
• Well, whaddayaknow, the hunters decided they had to use more than one dart to capture Maximus.
  
• And, of course it ends with Leo fucking the elephant. Of course it does.
  
• And the power of love unties the elephant babies' tails. Why the fuck not.
  
• And at least there's one plus over the song about vegetarianism from Dr. Dolittle: Leo at least sings.
  
  
  

And next week, we're going to take on Dennis Rodman vehicle Simon Sez. And after that, Ellen DeGeneres pretending to be a straight woman in Mr. Wrong and a really fucking creepy gay Holocaust romance that also happens to be the last movie on Metacritic to hit a perfect 1: The Singing Forest

[Rev. Rye]

This week in the Deep Hurting Project: Simon Sez. It's a buddy cop movie starring Dennis Rodman and Dane Cook. Does this even look like it could be a good movie?

• And we start with a title sequence that looks like it could have been made in Windows Movie Maker. 
  
• Why do European police call themselves Interpol? Because their jurisdiction covers almost all countries (except North Korea, Palau, Tuvalu, Kosovo, Taiwan, and Western Sahara.)
  
• This banter is absolute dogshit, thank Christ the movie's only 85 minutes long. And why are they wearing monk's cowls?
  
• What kind of man kills another man's fly? A sensible person? Which leaves open the question of what kind of man kills a fly with a sword.
  
• And why are the monks dancing? 
  
• Dane Cook's reintroducing himself to Dennis Rodman and he's so fucking obnoxious that I'm starting to wish the monks were back.
  
• So, I have autism, and I'm starting to suspect that I might have Schizoid Personality Disorder in addition, and I have to say, if you want to know what having to do small talk is like for me, just watch this:
  
  
  
• So, is comparing a transman to Chewbacca transphobic or not?
  
• Enjoy Drew while you can, Dane Cook. She's going to end up giving birth and she's going to hit the wall HARD.
  
• Strange thing: the villain seems to be played by a French boy band singer and he acts like he's on the spectrum. Dafuq?
  
• How many fucking animal noises is Dane Cook going to make in this movie?
  
• Why the fuck does he think the monks are the voice of God? Doesn't he know that he's part of their operation? Or that they're clearly not God?
  
• Wow. The monks got a big bump in sympathy by trying to kill Dane Cook.
  
• He's supposed to approve? Is his father The Master?
  
• Who is this rapper and why does he sound like the guy from that Cronenberg episode of Rick and Morty who loves Morty and hopes Morty loves him?
  
• Ringing a huge tower bell to get someone's attention and standing right next to it. Someone's going to end up damaging his ears for life.
  
• For a better 90s movie about a guy who kidnaps his love interest, watch Buffalo 66. It's also on Tubi, it actually works as a comedy, and when the main character acts abrasive, there's a good chance it's by design. 
  
• Gagging someone with a potato?
  
• Funny thing, I just watched 500 Days of Summer last night and it's making me seriously wonder if there's some sort of unreliable narration at play, like this is Dane Cook's elaborate fantasy about trying to get back his girlfriend from someone she's actually willingly dating.
  
• That's a very fake looking parachute, Bruce.
  
• I'm starting to wonder if this is the movie Russell Jones II was watching and using to create his bizarre interrogation persona.
  
  
  Seriously, since this video dropped, I've been certain Russell was trying to channel some character in a movie he watched when he was putting on this act, but I haven't been able to put my finger on which one. The Joker comes up a lot in the comments of the video, but I can't imagine that he'd ever be this protective of Harley Quinn.
• I haven't seen such a weird interplay of sex and gunplay since A Certain Sacrifice.
  
• And who is this girl and why does she look like Franka Potente cosplaying as the blonde from Ladylike?
  
• How does one lose an entire girl? Maybe she just has agency?
  
• Why are the bad guy's henchmen Vladimir and Estragon?
  
• And now the monks and Dane Cook are in quicksand in a tunnel. Why the fuck not?
  
• Of course he's saving the white guy over you; he's the one with top billing.
  
• Why does this Corsican farmer's accent sound like he's Indian?
  
• Is the software the bad guy's been after the whole time just this Microsoft Bob horseshit? 
  
• Blowing up the Eiffel Tower? Who's paying him, Guy de Maupassant? 
  
• And we end on the idea of the fat monk being an exotic dancer. You know, I'm painfully aware that Graham Linehan's squandered all the goodwill he made from creating three of the greatest sitcoms ever by turning into a full-time transphobic gobshite, but this clip from Father Ted couldn't be more apropos:
  
  
  

And next week, we finally get into the gay stuff this Pride Month with Ellen DeGeneres' Mr. Wrong (wherein she plays one of the least plausible heterosexuals this side of that one coworker I had who liked going to titty bars, ended up getting engaged to another woman, and still insisted she was straight), and the week after will include probably the worst gay movie ever made, The Singing Forest, which somehow ended up getting a Tubi release a few months ago after two decades in rightly-deserved obscurity.

[TheJefe817]

Watched Everything Everywhere All At Once yesterday.  I was concerned that I might accidentally post a spoiler in talking about it, but nothing I could post about it would make the least bit of sense without context.  It's 2+ hours of total insanity.  That said, I think it's probably the best movie I've seen in years - at the same time lunacy and really thought-provoking and emotional.  I mean, dildo-fu, intentional papercuts, hot-dog fingers, existential bagels.....   Those disconnected concepts are all plot points, if that explains why a spoiler is almost impossible.  Maybe, just maybe in my top 20 of all time after one viewing.

[Rev. Rye]

I'm still going to take on Mr. Wrong for the Deep Hurting Project tomorrow, but since Autism Pride Day is today, I figure I may as well do a little mini-entry in the project, this time, based around a short documentary called Autism Every Day.





If I were to tell you that I have autism and that this little piece of shit is from Autism Speaks, you can probably guess what I think of it. Much of it's basically, well, do you remember how Super-Nanny had these short montages of how dysfunctional a family and their kids are before the nannies come into the picture? It's basically all this over 13 minutes, except the parents are talking about autism and how it's ruined their lives. Not even the lives of the children, just theirs. There's no mention of them trying to understand their children, how, especially when everything is new, the world is a fucking sensory minefield, and things that adults and neurotypical kids can just get used to just lead to extreme reactions. Imagine being drafted into a sports game. You have no idea what's going on because nobody explained the rules to you. You might figure out the rules, but in the meanwhile, it's a pretty rough game, so sometimes, being on the field can get you hurt; either you get physically hurt or something happens that triggers a panic attack. It doesn't even have to be something that makes sense to neurotypicals, it just happens. This is what it was like for me being a child with autism, and these parents are like referees whose reaction to that one kid struggling to play the game or just having a panic attack is, at best, to wonder "what the Hell are we going to do with that kid?" At least my parents tried at times. And hopefully, this generation of autistic children  are more likely to have parents who at least try and help their kids adapt to the world.

In this movie, the parents aren't trying to help understand their kids. At one point, a mother talks about bringing her autistic daughter to the park and having other parents judge her because she puts her daughter on a swing and her response is to have a meltdown. And despite asking for empathy and consideration for herself, she doesn't give any to her daughter. She doesn't seem to have figured out "Hmm, putting my autistic daughter on a swing triggers a meltdown. Maybe we should try something else that doesn't make her freak out." Another mom talks about special education and says the point of it is to segregate the disabled kids so they don't bother the normal ones. The closest thing they come to that is that one mother muses sadly on the fact that her autistic son will never marry or have kids. And I'm torn between pointing out that many kids with autism do grow up to have healthy family lives (having help at an early age is crucial), and saying "Given that starting up a family is time-and-resource consuming [and that after the big recession of 2008, the economic powers that be don't seem to be too interested in giving many in these kids' generations much access to said resources] and that we're pretty close to the point of no return with global warming anyway, good."

IN the movie's most damning scene, a mother talks about how she once sat in her car on the George Washington Bridge for 15 minutes contemplating driving her car off the bridge with her autistic daughter in it, and she says the only reason that she didn't do so, was because she had a normal child. And did I mention that said autistic child For the record, there is some crucial context missing from this clip. Apparently, the reason she even went to such a dark place is that professionals were suggesting that she send her daughter to a school where the conditions were so bad that this murder-suicide seemed like a good idea in comparison. And given that I know of places like the Judge Rotenberg Center who think electric torture is a good therapy choice, and that even Hellholes like the Motherfucking elan School decided to just take in regular autistic kids and subjected them to the same hellish practices that they were advertising for the worst of the worst of juvenile delinquents, this makes a depressing amount of sense. The mother in question, Alison Singer, regretted taking part in the documentary as well as ever being a part in Autism Speaks in the first place, even leaving to create her own charity, the Autism Science Foundation, which is significantly less shit than AS. 

And, frustratingly, they don't even give the audience much of an idea of what autism is like. Not even in the sense of "autism is a stupefyingly broad spectrum, with intellectual ability ranging between severely mentally disabled and physicists whose achievements rival those of Einstein." I mean that even the limited vision of autism this doco is portraying is very nebulous. I referenced Supernanny in the beginning because the way they portray it is basically the worst features of those unruly kids and a baby who won't stop fucking crying. There are some instances of them saying positive things about their kids, but it's all too little, too late.

Hopefully, I'll be less heated when I watch Mr. Wrong tomorrow. I just have to deal with Ellen DeGeneres pretending to be straight and getting comedically abused by Bill Pullman for 90 minutes. And now, to watch something less anxiety-inducing, like Uncut Gems.

Also, I found that this movie is about as long as the first video of the first movement of Mendelssohn’s Violin Concerto. Here’s an interesting idea for a recut: score the video to that and cut away every so often to a guy doing this while the music’s playing.

[TheJefe817]

Just finished the infamous "Martyrs" - 2008 French version.  I thought it would be appropriate to mention here given the ending.  Not to give a spoiler (although it's 14 years old, so how soon is too soon?), but they save any hint of metaphysics until said ending.  Even then, it's not quite certain what happens, so I'm willing to say this was the rare really effective horror movie which did not need to go outside the bounds of physical reality to be really terrifying.

Not an easy watch, though.  Think "Hostel" maybe, and pretty much every trigger warning you can imagine.  Well, maybe no animal cruelty that I recall, so at least there's that.