The Last Movie You Watched

[Silver]

Tall Girl 2

After Jodi Kreyman gains popularity, her miscommunications start causing rifts with those around her and now she really needs to 'stand tall'.

[Orbit]

Doris Day and Rock Hudson in "Pillow Talk"

[Rev. Rye]

This week in the Deep Hurting Project: InAPPropriate Comedy. It's basically a sketch comedy movie made by the Sham-WOW guy, Vince Offer, and a partial remake of his previous film The Underground Comedy Movie, which would also qualify for the Project if I could find a copy. So, this time around, I'm just going to cover it sketch-by-sketch, just like I did with Movie 43.

• Framing Device? Apparently, someone's decided to do a 127 Hours parody. But at least wherever he's trapped has decent enough Wi-Fi to stream these shitty sketches. And his tablet still has enough power to do so after 5 days.
  
• Under the Grate. Lindsay Lohan is dressed like Marilyn Monroe in The Seven Year Itch. She stands under a subway grate. The Director's standing under the grate and filming her panties.
  
• Flirty Harry. Adrien Brody's career seems to have devolved to the point where he's just doing a Dirty Harry parody whose dialogue is 80% gay innuendo and 20% puns based around bodily fluids.
  
• Blackass. Exactly what you'd expect from the title. Basically, it's Jackass, but the boys are all black. The only real surprise is that, for some reason, it's scored with "Ride of the Valkyrie."
  
• The Amazing Racist. It's just a guy acting racist and nothing more. If I wanted to see that, I'd just watch literally any conservative YouTube channel. Nice to know that it ends with the guy being arrested by border security.
  
• Blackass (Part 2). If you ever wanted to see a bunch of black people in supermarket carts jousting with giant fake dicks scored to the music of Ennio Morricone
  
• The Porno Review. Once you've seen The Cinema Snob review some pornos, nothing in this movie seems funny. Hell, a lot of the pornos he's done are significantly more insane than what we see here. Also, when it comes to faux-Asian porno, there's no way you're ever going to do it better than Cronenberg's Samurai Dreams.
  
• Blackass (Part 3) I don't even know what beast ran over that guy. But at least there's no music this time.
  
• Flirty Harry (Part 2) Yep, it's the same old shit as before.
  
• The Amazing Racist (Part 2) Now we're teaching Asians to drive. Why not? Also, they're switching between a male and female student for some reason. Jesus, even if you're really into that sort of shit, Drawn Together did that exact same thing. Even up to and including taping an Asian guy's eyes open. And they at least did more with that.
  
• Blackass (Part 4?) A bunch of black dudes have been drafted into babysitting a Beverly Hills baby. I don't even know what the joke is. 
  
• The Porno Review (Part 2) So, is this a gay porno version of Swan Lake set in the same place where they made I Spit on Your Grave, except there's no actual pron.
  
• Flirty Harry (Part 3) My God! Vince Offer's actually started to subvert the double entendres.
  
• Blackass (Part 4 or 5) A white couple get awkward when an interracial couple gets in the pool.
  
  
  
• The Amazing Racist (Part 3) Blah, Blah, the Jews killed Jesus. I guess Ari Shaffir has a pass on this because he is Jewish?
  
• Psychology World Rob Schneider is treating a nymphomaniac. He ODs for some reason.
  
• Blackass (Part 5 or 6) A black guy is chatting up a white couple in an abortion clinic. At least he's giving the world a taste of what the world will be like once the Supreme Court reverses Roe v. Wade.
  
• Things You'll Never See: a rich young girl and a poor old man dating. That's the joke.
  
• The Amazing Racist (Part 4) Trying to ship black people back to Africa and failing. What I want to know is how he expects the boat to actually get there when it's clearly stranded on the beach.
  
  
  
• Blackass (Part 6 or 7) I have to admit, baiting a mouse into a mousetrap with your dick (wrapped in gauze and dipped with Cheez Whiz) is an original idea. Though once you see the trap, you know it's only a matter of time before the trap hits his dick.
  
• The Amazing Racist (Part 5) He gets sent to an Arab country and shot by terrorists. And nothing of value was lost.
  
• Under the Grate (Part 2) Lindsay Lohan shoots a bunch of onlookers. 
  

Next week, I'll go to Pluto TV and watch Bible Town.

[pocaracas]

This weekend saw the trilogy finished.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Fills in some of those puzzling gaps in the theatrical version.

[Gwaithmir]

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Wes Studi? He was fierce in "Last of the Mohicans".

[Angrboda]

I installed a cricket sim on my XBOX to learn about the game. Someone recommended a movie centered on the subject a while back, I just have to figure out what movie that was and if I have downloaded it already. Planning a lazy day. I'm making enchiladas in the afternoon, which I may or may not eat today. Not much else planned.

[Angrboda]

Haven't found my movie yet, though I now know the name. Lagaan, "the story of peasants in an Indian village during British colonial rule, who challenge their rulers to a game of cricket to cancel their crippling taxes for three years." In the process of looking for it on disk, I found another promising time waster: Bikini Frankenstein.

Convinced that the average male couldn't tell the difference between a living woman and a corpse, the nefarious Dr. Frankenstein creates an undead sex-kitten named Eve.

[Angrboda]

Bonus, my library has the DVD of Lagaan!