The Last Movie You Watched

[Rev. Rye]

This week in the Deep Hurting Project: The Adventures of Pluto Nash. I haven't seen it, but I have seen this. 



It's one of the biggest box office bombs of all time.

• Why is there a rap version of "Blue Moon"?
  
• Somehow, this movie's done something Duncan Jones' "Moon" failed to do: justify the fact that they have normal gravity.
  
• That's not crooning. That's just regular singing. Maybe like a Scottish accordion version of Jake Thackray.
  
• So, I might be jumping the gun here, but so far, this is reminding me of, of all movies, Shark Tale. That movie, you'd lose very little, plot-wise if you transplanted the story from the middle of the ocean to, say, Queens. This movie, I get the impression that you could just set it in Vegas and lose nothing of consequence.
  
• Okay, so it's 14 minutes in and there's a robot with an auto-tuned voice.
  
• Goddammit, if only we lived in a timeline where not only did Hillary win the Presidency, she did a good enough job to earn a  place on our money.
  
• Wait, it can't have been more than a few hours since we left Anthony Frankowski tied up in his run-down club, and with a new name to consider. How the fuck does she know him by his stage name (which he only just came up with)?
  
• How does a big explosion in this oxygen-rich environment not cause a complete catastrophe?
  
• I have never seen $100 million look so cheap.
  
• Is this how Randy Quaid lost his mind? They failed to update his OS?
  
• Huh. Body sculpting: a plot device that could actually justify the Sci-Fi setting. Even if it's marred by the inexplicable cheapness (seriously, Hollow Man had a slightly lower budget, came out before this movie, and did similar effects more effectively), and the fact that somehow, Eddie Murphy's finding some grounds to body-shame Rosario Dawson.
  
• Eddie Murphy's English accent makes Dick Van Dyke's seem almost native.
  
• Well, at least he doesn't go through with raping Rosario Dawson in her sleep.
  
• Goddammit, I love "Dancin in the Moonlight." What's with this shitty cover?
  
• You know, seeing Alec Baldwin getting acquitted is a Hell of a lot more awkward after the shooting.
  
• Oh, yeah. I can totally believe that chihuaua is cryogenically frozen and not just a statue that's been wrapped in cellophane for no particular reason.
  
• And now cloning's just a thing. I wonder if this is going to be a major plot point.
  
• I could be watching Angels with Dirty Faces now. 
  
• Luis Guzman? You just appeared in one of my all-time favourite films and this is how you followed it up?
  
• Leaving John Cleese like this just reminds me of the Black Knight, except it's less funny. 
  
• Why is Harry Harlow's Wire Mommy a full-blown robot gambling machine/hooker? 
  
• A black-tie concert?
  
• How the fuck did this movie earn the rights to "Fly Me To The Moon" and the latest release of Eva didn't?
  
• And thank you for reminding me of how bizarrely quick this movie's Tony Francis subplot's been going.
  
• You know, the sad thing is, if it was made today, the "orchestra" would have just been a laptop. And it probably wouldn't have been all that surprising.
  
• I haven't been this confused at the reveal that the Big Bad is just a clone of the hero since The Prisoner.  But even then, that at least had some sort of symbolic import.
  

Next week is either Invasion of the Neptune Men or They Saved Hitler's Brain. Or maybe they'll just randomly bring Ed back to Tubi like they did a few days ago. I fucking hate when movies just randomly drop off of streaming services, but given that JustWatch announced that it had come to Tubi and then removed from it in the span of a few days is a new low.

[Nanny]

The Score (2001), Directed by Frank Oz. Starring DeNiro, Edward Norton, Brando. A genre movie - heist procedural - with some decent acting by Norton and Brando. Fun visuals and editing. Would be a decent airplane movie.

The Limey (1999), Directed by Stephen Soderburgh. Starring Terrence Stamp, Luis Guzman, Henry Fonda. Another genre movie - underworld vendetta - Stamp gets all the good lines, the plot is a mess, and the editing is overly artsy. Tries way too hard.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

The Score (2001), Directed by Frank Oz. Starring DeNiro, Edward Norton, Brando. A genre movie - heist procedural - with some decent acting by Norton and Brando. Fun visuals and editing. Would be a decent airplane movie.

The Limey (1999), Directed by Stephen Soderburgh. Starring Terrence Stamp, Luis Guzman, Henry Fonda. Another genre movie - underworld vendetta - Stamp gets all the good lines, the plot is a mess, and the editing is overly artsy. Tries way too hard.

That’d be Peter Fonda, not Henry.

Boru

[Rev. Rye]

This week in the Deep Hurting Project is one of the most infamous bad movies ever: They Saved Hitler's Brain. It has a bizarre backstory: it started off as a film called The Madman of Mandoras, but then somebody got the TV rights and decided to pad it out with 18 minutes of new footage. This new footage has fuck-all to do with the original footage, and you can tell which footage was shot later because, well, you know how fashion changed radically between the two different ends of the 1960s?


That's very much reflected in the movie. Somehow, the movie ended up getting exactly one big-name fan: Howard Hughes.

• They got Stanley Cortez to shoot this movie? The same Stanley Cortez who lensed Night of the Hunter and The Magnificent Ambersons?
  
• You know, the strange thing is I actually like this Rhodes Piano score. I wouldn't say it's a banger, but it's certainly pleasant. I could certainly imagine putting it in with some LaMonte Young or Morton Feldman. Okay, maybe more Morton Feldman.
  
• Why is Meathead working with the military?
  
• Gee, I can totally believe that this elephant is getting gassed to death and not just falling asleep.
  
• It's almost 20 minutes into this movie, and I can barely tell what the fuck is happening.
  
• Wait, wasn't she just assassinated in a drive-by four minutes ago? And they brought her back to kill some guy from the Mad Men-era footage, only for her to die yet again?
  
• These henchmen remind me of something:
  
  
  And now, it's stuck in your head.
• Yeah, you have to pace yourself, maybe rest before you go driving. I have that sleep issue, but thanks to that, I never had to drive my car into a power grid.
  
• Did that car chase just randomly go from day to night to day again?
  
• Nice to know that the characters we started the movie with are just dead now. Does this mean the later footage has been used up?
  
• Do not call the police. I am secretly Rolf Harris and I'm sure that Interpol is going to figure that out rather quickly.
  
• How do you like that? John Huston's the chief of police in Mandoras. And, wait, isn't Mandoras supposed to be a country? Is it small enough that it's basically a Singapore-like City-state?
  
• Adolf Hitler dying heroically at the head of his army in battle? Well, if you mean shooting yourself in the temple while biting down on a cyanide capsule  inside a bunker, I guess that's true?
  
• Wait, if all those assassination attempts kept killing Hitler's body doubles, then how did he get the reputation for being indestructible?
  
• And why is Hitler's moustache so full?
  
• Nice to see how that Mandoras club orchestra is clearly not playing the rockabilly music on the soundtrack. Or does that classical guitar have a really well-hidden pickup and cable? And is there just a guy who walks around carrying a trumpet? 
  
• Wait, that's not Hitler's brain, it's just his head.
  
• Okay, I've spent a lot of this time asleep, now Hitler's regained shoulders?
  
• And now he's wax?
  

Next week, I guess this current fit's probably going to end with Invasion of the Neptune Men.

[AniKoferBo]

Lowlifes (2024)

[Nanny]

The Harder They Fall (1956) - A noir about the fixing of boxing matches, final film role of Humphrey Bogart. Bogart's character is hired by fight game mobsters to promote the 6'8" Toro Moreno, an unknown boxer from Argentina. A vivid backstory is crafted - entirely untrue - while Moreno has no aptitude for boxing. A series of boxers are paid off to dive, building Moreno's reputation while causing the raised eyebrows of insiders who can see the lack of talent. Moreno gets his shot at the heavyweight title and gets mauled. The mobsters use accounting tricks to swindle Moreno, leaving him with just $50 while the gates from his bouts have made millions for the fight game jocks. Bogarts gives his own share to Moreno before shipping him back to Argentina.

An entertaining movie. Bogart appears world worn and tired - he was in the throes of esophageal cancer - which lends to the character. Extreme overacting by the cast, as was the way of the late 50's produces some unintentional humor. Jersey Joe Walcott puts in a nice performance as Moreno's sparring partner. Max Baer appears as the champ.

Former heavyweight champ Primo Carnera sued Columbia Pictures claiming the story was meant to depict him. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Primo_Carnera

Max Baer knocked Carnera down 11 times in the real title bout in 1934.

[Mister Agenda]

Villains Inc. with Colin Mochrie and Mallory Everton. A supervillain accidentally kills himself with a new super power and his hench-mooks have to carry on without him. More like a series of skits around a theme than a coherent movie. I enjoyed it but I'm easy like that.

[Silver]

Unfrosted

In 1963 Michigan, business rivals Kellogg's and Post compete to create a cake that could change breakfast forever.

[emjay]

Unfrosted

In 1963 Michigan, business rivals Kellogg's and Post compete to create a cake that could change breakfast forever.

God, you do watch some random stuff lol

[Nanny]

Unfrosted was recommended to me this past weekend. It's on the list.