Coming Out(?)

[Darkstar]

All at one now:

What it really boils down to is, do you have reason to fear retaliation?

If not, then I would say that you should say whatever you want, whenever you're ready to make it their business.

Well, at first I wasn't too keen on "making it their business". After a while, however, it became harder to keep it in. Don't get me wrong, I could stay closeted for a while longer without losing my mind or anything, I just don't like having to be deceitful. My mother has told me before that she doesn't judge me, and that she only gets upset because I kept secrets from her, not because of the nature of the secrets. I'm not exactly a scandalous guy, though; coming out as atheist would be on an entirely different level to anything I've kept hidden before.

For example: does your dad watch Fox News? If he does, the next time you see David Silverman on you could passingly comment "Oh, I like him!" and if you dad goes ape shit you then know his reaction toward sympathizing with an atheistic viewpoint and can pass off your liking of David Silverman as "Relax, I just think he's funny" or something.

When my sister asked my dad what liberals were he said "crazy people". I'm probably not even going to bother with him. If I do, it will only be after I know everyone else is accepting.

It could make it harder on your parents though, learning that not only do they have one child who is an atheist, they have two; two thirds of their progeny are non-believers, oh no!! It all depends on how they take it.

Yeah, it does. Maybe I could test the waters, and if there isn't a nulclear firestorm reaction, he might come out too? I don't know.

Another aspect is if you're wearing pants or not. If you're not ready to wear your own pants, maybe you're not ready for it. On the other hand, if you are ready, rain or shine, you will be stepping into a new day. There are benefits to taking that step, even if "bad things happen." The possibility of bad things happening will always be there, in this, or other things. The question you need to ask yourself is, are you ready to make the best of it regardless of whether it goes well or poorly?

I'm kind of spineless IRL, actually. I really need to work on that...

I forget whether you said your brother is younger or not. I would consider it ethically questionable to encourage a younger sibling to take such risks for your benefit unless they have already decided to do so. Let them grow up on their own. Don't make them a part of your strategy.

I hadn't planned to. He doesn't seem to have much desire to come out soon; I was only asking it hypothetically.

[Popsicle]

nope, no point in coming out

Yes? No? Maybe? You could appeal to general rules, but I think it would be more helpful to look at the specifics of this case. Particularly, I'm asking if and when/under what circumstances I should come out to my parent(s) and or siblings.


Some background information:

• Both of my parents are old earth creationists, however, I have am fairly certain that they accept most of mainstream science nonetheless.
  
• My parents are firm in their belief, but rarely vocal about it.
  
• My father is a member of the religious right.
  
• While I have heard my parents make rude remarks about atheists before, it is not common. I am inclined to think that my mother, at least, would not extend stereotypes about atheists to me. Also, the only atheist my mother has ever personally known was kind of a jerk about it, so yeah...
  
• With the exception of my father, my family rarely attends church. On the other hand, my mother despises the particular church we go to, so maybe we would be attending more if the services weren't mind-numbingly dull.
  
• My brother is a closeted agnostic atheist, something I discovered roughly six months ago when I privately outed myself to him. He isn't very knowledgeable on atheism vs. theism, but neither are my parents.
  
• My younger sister is not overtly religious, but I cannot tell much more than that.
  
• I am currently a college student; I don't think my being an atheist would jeopardize funding for this.
  
• My mother is easily offended.
  
• As far as I know, no one in my family holds any supernatural beliefs outside of religious ones.

So, all things considered (and if there is anything you would like me to add or specify, feel free to ask) what do you think I should do? Should I privately tell my younger sister? Should my brother and I simultaneously come out to my mother (if he wishes to)? We should probably leave my father out of this; I doubt he'll be accepting. "It's your choice" is kind of self-evident, so I don't think that counts as advice. Maybe "[insert advice here], but ultimately it's your choice" or something like that.

[pocaracas]

I see no need for you to bring it up...
If they do bring up the argument, like... "time to go to church" and you just say "I'd rather not, you see... I don't believe in those things anymore"... that could be cool... or it could bring up a shitstorm, since you say your mom could be easily offended...

Ultimately, it's your call.