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Non-Believers' Favorite Parts of the Bible
#31
RE: Non-Believers' Favorite Parts of the Bible
I like the the Song of Solomon. Kinda racy stuff. I mean, check it out.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?sea...ersion=ESV

As for ridiculousness, the part where god banned Moses from entering the Promised Land after everything that poor bastard went through. I mean he went through the plagues of Egypt, went up and got the 10 Commandments, parted the Red Sea, wandered the desert for 40 years with a bunch of whiny Israelites......but hit the rock in order to break it open to give water to his people instead of talking to it like god commanded. And now he's not allowed in the Promised Land and has to live in the wilderness for the rest of his life. Damn.
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#32
RE: Non-Believers' Favorite Parts of the Bible
(February 21, 2014 at 9:25 pm)Minimalist Wrote:
(February 21, 2014 at 7:23 pm)KUSA Wrote: My bad I got the Bible and Blazing Saddles mixed up.
What a ridiculous mistake to make. Blazing Saddles is far more "inspired."

On the other hand, both have the ability to make you laugh at how silly they can be.
"Well, evolution is a theory. It is also a fact. And facts and theories are different things, not rungs in a hierarchy of increasing certainty. Facts are the world's data. Theories are structures of ideas that explain and interpret facts. Facts don't go away when scientists debate rival theories to explain them. Einstein's theory of gravitation replaced Newton's in this century, but apples didn't suspend themselves in midair, pending the outcome. And humans evolved from ape- like ancestors whether they did so by Darwin's proposed mechanism or by some other yet to be discovered."

-Stephen Jay Gould
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#33
RE: Non-Believers' Favorite Parts of the Bible
(February 25, 2014 at 9:59 am)Bittersmart Wrote: I like the the Song of Solomon. Kinda racy stuff. I mean, check it out.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?sea...ersion=ESV
It's OK, but I must say I've never had an amorous encounter with a woman whose belly was "like an heap of wheat" and I don't think it would turn my crank.
If you could reason with religious people, there would be no religious people — House
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#34
RE: Non-Believers' Favorite Parts of the Bible
(February 25, 2014 at 9:59 am)Bittersmart Wrote: I like the the Song of Solomon. Kinda racy stuff. I mean, check it out.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?sea...ersion=ESV

As for ridiculousness, the part where god banned Moses from entering the Promised Land after everything that poor bastard went through. I mean he went through the plagues of Egypt, went up and got the 10 Commandments, parted the Red Sea, wandered the desert for 40 years with a bunch of whiny Israelites......but hit the rock in order to break it open to give water to his people instead of talking to it like god commanded. And now he's not allowed in the Promised Land and has to live in the wilderness for the rest of his life. Damn.

One little screw-up wipes out a lot of attaboys.

Moses should have been a member of the Prophets Union and he could have filed a grievance for wrongful termination. At least he didn't get crucified.

(February 25, 2014 at 8:16 am)truthBtold Wrote: When jesus was handing out pedicures. .

In the Bible the word "feet" is sometimes used as a reference to genitals.
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#35
RE: Non-Believers' Favorite Parts of the Bible
Wyrd of Gawd Wrote:In the Bible the word "feet" is sometimes used as a reference to genitals.

Gives new meaning to foot fetishes.....
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#36
RE: Non-Believers' Favorite Parts of the Bible
Why would feet be a euphemism for genitals?

Yeah that sucks that he was punished for such a small thing. I'm not sure if this was supposed to be like the straw that broke the camels back or what, since Yahweh certainly didn't tell the guy to break the ten commandments.
Poe's Law: "Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."

10 Christ-like figures that predate Jesus. Link shortened to Chris ate Jesus for some reason...
http://listverse.com/2009/04/13/10-chris...ate-jesus/

Good video to watch, if you want to know how common the Jesus story really is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88GTUXvp-50

A list of biblical contradictions from the infallible word of Yahweh.
http://infidels.org/library/modern/jim_m...tions.html

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#37
RE: Non-Believers' Favorite Parts of the Bible
Give beer to those who are perishing, wine to those who are in anguish. – Proverbs 31:6 NIV

it's like Whiskey for my men, Beer for my. Horses. - Toby Keith
I don’t know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't.

I want to soar higher than any man has ever soared! I want to look down on the clouds with contempt! I want to sneer at God's creation, and spit on his ... (Homer Simpson)
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#38
RE: Non-Believers' Favorite Parts of the Bible
I like pointing out to Jewish/Christian believers that Genesis says Adam and Eve were vegetarians. Everyone remembers what God told them NOT to eat, but nobody ever remembers the line where he tells them what they should eat. As a vegetarian, this is just a really useful line to know about when religious people act like there's something wrong with my diet.
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#39
RE: Non-Believers' Favorite Parts of the Bible
(February 27, 2014 at 5:37 pm)Fromper Wrote: I like pointing out to Jewish/Christian believers that Genesis says Adam and Eve were vegetarians. Everyone remembers what God told them NOT to eat, but nobody ever remembers the line where he tells them what they should eat. As a vegetarian, this is just a really useful line to know about when religious people act like there's something wrong with my diet.
That reminds me of Ken Ham's claim that dinosaurs were all herbivores before the fall of man. ROFLOL
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#40
RE: Non-Believers' Favorite Parts of the Bible
Favorite part?

The bit that JesusLover1 has read.


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