Non-Believers' Favorite Parts of the Bible

[My imaginary friend is GOD]

What's your favorite part of the Bible? I like the parts that refer to Satan as a motherfucking dragon! (Revelations 12:9 and 20:1-15, for example.) I guess it's a metaphor for beastliness and evil, but taken literally it's pretty hilarious.

[Nine]

I love the entirety of Genesis. The whole thing makes me grin like an idiot. Everything from the creation of the earth, Adam and Eve, Noah and the rest has me laughing every time.

[truthBtold]

The last blank page.....

[Angrboda]

Revelations is certainly cool, but I like the world weary wisdom of Ecclesiastes above all else, with Psalms coming in second. Psalms is less about God than it is the songs of suffering, and there's some beautiful poetry in there.

[Minimalist]

I find the pages between the covers are best for wiping one's ass.

[Crossless2.0]

I must admit that the reconciliation between Esau and the treacherous Jacob always moves me. In fact, I love all of Genesis in spite of my utter skepticism concerning the truth of its stories. And I second Rasetsu's admiration for Ecclesiastes.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

I wouldn't say I have a favourite 'part' of the Bible, per se, but there are some verses that make sense (I'll preface the following by saying that none of these sentiments - not a single one - are original to the Bible):

-Thou shalt not defraud thy neighbor, nor rob him.

-Proclaim liberty throughout all the land unto all the inhabitants thereof.

-Depart from evil and do good.

-Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart.

-Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding.

-Execute ye judgment and righteousness, and deliver the spoiled out of the hand of the oppressor: and do no wrong, do no violence to the stranger, the fatherless, nor the widow, neither shed innocent blood in this place.

Lots more, but those are the ones that were hammered home at parochial school.

Boru

[Chad32]

Love your neighbors, give to the poor, and maybe some other actually pretty nice things attributed to Jesus. Not thta the bible is the only source of thoughts like this.

[c172]

My biological father, who wasn't religious himself, left me his bible (I think KJV), when he died in 1990. I keep forgetting I have it. I did try reading it a few months ago, but I started to have a stroke by page 3. I do need to give it another try, just for the lulz of this thread.

[Bad Writer]

I love the pointless genealogies. Reminds me that the bastards have always been in the business of making shit up in an effort to legitimize their claims.

On second thought, I actually very much hate those parts. It's really hard to love any part of a literary turd.