Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: November 4, 2024, 4:51 pm
Atheist Forums › Discussion › Off Topic v
How do you get a girlfriend?

Thread Rating:
  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
How do you get a girlfriend?
popeyespappy Offline Donators
some kind of demographic homunculus
*****
Religious Views: n/a
Posts: 2886
Threads: 132
Joined: May 8, 2011
Reputation: 31
#31
RE: How do you get a girlfriend?
March 2, 2014 at 4:43 pm
I'm surprised daddy hasn't picked a properly submissive one out for you yet.
Save a life. Adopt a greyhound.
[Image: JUkLw58.gif]
Find
Reply
Assimilate Offline
Junior Member
**
Religious Views: Secular
Posts: 476
Threads: 3
Joined: March 14, 2013
Reputation: 6
#32
RE: How do you get a girlfriend?
March 2, 2014 at 4:43 pm
(March 2, 2014 at 4:35 pm)ElleBelle Wrote:
(March 2, 2014 at 4:33 pm)Asimm Wrote: dark secrets are the best secrets.

By dark secrets I think he means actually no secrets at all.

You just like to ruin things.

Geek
Find
Reply
SteelCurtain Offline
Milk Chocolate Bimbo/Swag Master
*****
Religious Views: Atheist (6)
Posts: 15351
Threads: 118
Joined: January 13, 2014
Reputation: 117
#33
RE: How do you get a girlfriend?
March 2, 2014 at 4:53 pm
The key is to let it come to you. There is no merit in "being" something you're not in order to get a girl. Believe me, that only works for the short term. You do have to put yourself out there in social situations, though. Go to parties, get togethers, school events, church events. Talk to girls. The only way to get better at it is to practice. Eventually it will be easy, and easy=confidence. Confidence is an attractive quality.
"There remain four irreducible objections to religious faith: that it wholly misrepresents the origins of man and the cosmos, that because of this original error it manages to combine the maximum servility with the maximum of solipsism, that it is both the result and the cause of dangerous sexual repression, and that it is ultimately grounded on wish-thinking." ~Christopher Hitchens, god is not Great

PM me your email address to join the Slack chat! I'll give you a taco(or five) if you join! --->There's an app and everything!<---
Find
Reply
Jacob(smooth) Offline Donators
Damn Sword! Damn Field!
*****
Religious Views: Indiscriminate Apologist
Posts: 3432
Threads: 102
Joined: November 13, 2013
Reputation: 59
#34
RE: How do you get a girlfriend?
March 2, 2014 at 4:59 pm
(March 2, 2014 at 4:39 pm)ElleBelle Wrote:
(March 2, 2014 at 4:37 pm)Kayenneh Wrote: Or perhaps "yes dear", "no dear" and "of course you're right dear" is considered a secret.. Thinking

Nailed it.

Yes dear Angel

I could tell you but I'd have to kill you. There are rules.
"Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken."
Sith code
Find
Reply
KUSA Offline
Senior Member
****
Religious Views: I have unseen the light
Posts: 4664
Threads: 100
Joined: November 22, 2013
Reputation: 39
#35
Re: RE: How do you get a girlfriend?
March 2, 2014 at 5:00 pm (This post was last modified: March 2, 2014 at 5:01 pm by KUSA.)
Here are a few ideas for a wife.

1) Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she’s yours. (Deut. 21:11-13)
2) “Lay hold on” a virgin who is not betrothed to another man, and "know" her, but afterwards pay her father a sum of money. Then she’s yours. (Deut. 22:28-29)
3) Find a prostitute and marry her. (Hosea 1:1-3)
4) Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock.--Moses (Ex. 2:16-21)
5) Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal.--Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)
6) Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife.--Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25)
7) Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you a rib.--Adam (Gen. 2:19-24)
8 ) Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman’s hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That’s right. Fourteen years of toil for a wife.--Jacob (Gen. 29:15-30)
9) Cut 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law’s enemies and get his daughter for a wife.--David (1 Sam. 18:27)
10) Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you’ll definitely find someone.--Cain (Gen. 4:16-17)
11) Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest.--Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4)
12) When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, “I have seen a woman; now get her for me.” If your parents question your decision, simply say, “Get her for me. She’s the one for me.”--Samson (Judges 14:1-3)
13) Kill any husband and take HIS wife. (Prepare to lose four sons though.)--David (2 Sam. 11)
14) Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It’s not just a good idea, it’s the law!)--Onan and Boaz (Deut. or Lev., example in Ruth)
15) Don’t be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity.--Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3)
16) A wife?--Paul (1st Corinthians, chapter 7)
Find
Reply
ElleBelle Offline
Saucy
***
Religious Views: Logic
Posts: 1331
Threads: 10
Joined: January 1, 2014
Reputation: 18
#36
RE: How do you get a girlfriend?
March 2, 2014 at 5:03 pm
(March 2, 2014 at 4:59 pm)Jacob(smooth) Wrote:
(March 2, 2014 at 4:39 pm)ElleBelle Wrote: Nailed it.

Yes dear Angel

I could tell you but I'd have to kill you. There are rules.

I'm somehow doubting this.
Find
Reply
Jacob(smooth) Offline Donators
Damn Sword! Damn Field!
*****
Religious Views: Indiscriminate Apologist
Posts: 3432
Threads: 102
Joined: November 13, 2013
Reputation: 59
#37
RE: How do you get a girlfriend?
March 2, 2014 at 5:09 pm
(March 2, 2014 at 5:03 pm)ElleBelle Wrote:
(March 2, 2014 at 4:59 pm)Jacob(smooth) Wrote: Yes dear Angel

I could tell you but I'd have to kill you. There are rules.

I'm somehow doubting this.

[Image: Mr-Burns-Saying-Excellent.gif]
"Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken."
Sith code
Find
Reply
ElleBelle Offline
Saucy
***
Religious Views: Logic
Posts: 1331
Threads: 10
Joined: January 1, 2014
Reputation: 18
#38
RE: How do you get a girlfriend?
March 2, 2014 at 5:11 pm
This thread is slowly sliding into "how to not get a girlfriend"
Find
Reply
The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
*******
Religious Views: Time to end them
Posts: 35238
Threads: 203
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation: 146
#39
RE: How do you get a girlfriend?
March 2, 2014 at 5:13 pm
(March 2, 2014 at 5:09 pm)Jacob(smooth) Wrote:
(March 2, 2014 at 5:03 pm)ElleBelle Wrote: I'm somehow doubting this.

[Image: Mr-Burns-Saying-Excellent.gif]

Did you take the Hippocratic Oath?

Tongue

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Find
Reply
Jacob(smooth) Offline Donators
Damn Sword! Damn Field!
*****
Religious Views: Indiscriminate Apologist
Posts: 3432
Threads: 102
Joined: November 13, 2013
Reputation: 59
#40
RE: How do you get a girlfriend?
March 2, 2014 at 5:16 pm (This post was last modified: March 2, 2014 at 5:17 pm by Jacob(smooth).)
(March 2, 2014 at 5:13 pm)Beccs Wrote:
(March 2, 2014 at 5:09 pm)Jacob(smooth) Wrote:


Did you take the Hippocratic Oath?

Tongue
Nope. I only took the page on feet Big Grin
[Image: 04b700f59ff957614bd43cf6f60f1fca.jpg]
"Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken."
Sith code
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Discussion › Off Topic v
How do you get a girlfriend?

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Do you get bored? zwanzig 19 1729 June 14, 2023 at 9:58 pm
Last Post: Gawdzilla Sama
  What did you get for Christmas? arewethereyet 13 999 December 29, 2021 at 3:56 pm
Last Post: The Architect Of Fate
  [Serious] How do you get over your past mistakes? [Please Don't judge me] GODZILLA 12 1653 June 3, 2019 at 12:48 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  From where do you get your information ? notimportant1234 23 4016 January 9, 2018 at 11:22 am
Last Post: Gawdzilla Sama
  Do you ever get this feeling whilst in bed? Arsoo 18 2826 September 30, 2017 at 11:11 pm
Last Post: Jackalope
  You get what you pay for...? AceBoogie 28 3687 November 25, 2016 at 2:55 pm
Last Post: Edwardo Piet
  Virtual reality girlfriend Macoleco 76 9709 October 17, 2016 at 4:47 pm
Last Post: The Grand Nudger
  Zero Motivation... how do you get through it? Joods 20 2870 March 2, 2016 at 7:41 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  The best way to dump your cheating girlfriend Napoléon 219 27682 December 1, 2015 at 8:33 pm
Last Post: *Deidre*
  Atheist with a Muslim girlfriend ponhei9502 19 3434 October 11, 2015 at 6:19 pm
Last Post: MTL



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)