Atheistic dinner "prayer"

[Eric9001]

"God is great... God is good... Let us thank him for our food. Amen." is a prayer that I have always disliked, even before I became atheist.

Backstory:

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I always thought it thanked the wrong person, since it was my mom who really cooked the meal. It should go without saying that this view strengthened as I became atheist.

Anyways, I was eating with my recently moved out atheistic brothers, instead of with my Christian parents. As we each sat at the table looking at each other, all thinking "Well... do we start eating?" I came across the realization that prayers serve one purpose. They are an official beginning to the meal. There are other official beginnings to meals, such as the waiter bringing it to your table when you're eating out.

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Well, the three of us could simply just say, "Okay, eating time," but I thought it might be more fun to try something else. I came up with an atheistic "prayer" based around the "god is great..." prayer.

"God is fake... God's not real... Let's thank _____ for this meal. _____."

The first blank can be filled in by whoever you want to thank for the meal. You could say the name of whoever cooked the meal (ex: Eric), simply say "the cook(s)" or "the chef(s)," or perhaps say the name of the restaurant you got the food from. If you want to use a word that is only one syllable you can change "let's" to "let us" in order to maintain the flow of it. (ex: Let us thank Mom for this meal.)

The second blank can be any short phrase of your choosing. Perhaps, "Leeeet's eat!" "Oooo-kay!" or "Yaaay atheism!" However, the thing still functions without anything there, if you prefer.

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Alternate version:

"gods are fake... gods aren't real... Let's thank _____ for this meal. _____."

This addresses all gods instead of just the Christian god, if you would prefer. It derives a little further away from the original, Christian prayer, but has a better message in my opinion.

Try it! It's kind of fun, especially if you're just eating with some atheistic friends or family.

I'm not usually one for confrontation, but once, back in high school, I said it when this heavily Christian guy sat down at the table. Oh, the look on his face before he started yelling at me from across the table... Priceless.

[ShaMan]

My wife is a Christian - I am not. We just fist-bump before meals.

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There are other official beginnings to meals...

Like when I open my mouth and begin eating.

[Nine]

My wife is a Christian - I am not. We just fist-bump before meals.

Thats awesome.

I just open Netflix and hit play.

[Rev. Rye]

You know, for a nontheistic dinner prayer, you can't beat this scene from Shenahdoah:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzzyZ1M-kVU

[Chad32]

After hearing the story of the chicken fixing food for her chicks, and how the other farm animals didn't help but hoped to get some food anyway, it bothered me that we'd be expected to thank god for our food three times a day. I was always told it was because he started everything, but it still seems odd. You'd think any sane person would get tired of hearing billions of people thank him three times a day for 3,000 years and going.

[Minimalist]

[Thumpalumpacus]

I don't pray any more, thanks.

[Jenny A]

We do. We use the classic "god is good, . . . and we thank him for our food." It's been a matter of some discussion. We've decided it's a useful device. What we mean by it is:

1. We are glad to be together.

2. Table manners are required from this point forward.

3. All talk should be general to the whole table until we're finished.

4. Children should stay put until excused.

[Marsellus Wallace]

Thank you dear big bang, thank you big asteroid that killed them dinosaurs .

May the force be with you .

[Cato]

Get the table to become somber with clasped hands and bowed heads; then exlaim "Fuck it, let's eat!".