My Youth Pastor's Pleading Letter to Me

[Amalynne0]

The guy's writing as if you're 5 yrs old. That should tell you all you need to know.
Could write back in the style of childrens book I suppose...

I'd have to draw pictures and that'd take effort... my stick people are rubbish.

[Ben Davis]

Thoughts?

He thinks he can use emotional blackmail to achieve his goals so I think he's a manipulative prick.

[Tonus]

He's a genuine, heartfelt guy, but he's choosing to feel rather than think. How can I reason with that?? I just don't know.

I think that religion mostly comes down to 'feeling, rather than thinking.' Whether or not you can reason with him depends on how far gone he is, and you're a better judge than I, since you know him and since I couldn't do more than skim the letter. Perhaps your best approach is not to try to reason with him. Just tell him why you're an atheist, and leave it at that. Don't bother with follow-up letters; my guess is that he'll see it as his duty to harass you, because if it gets you 'back in the fold' he's done his job.*

*Which is another of the ways in which religion is harmful- it can convince people that the means do not matter, because if saving you from hellfire requires that they do or say very mean or nasty or stupid things, then that's what they have to do.

[Mr Greene]

It's also a very long winded way of saying "it's not a religion, I have a personal relationship with god" which is about as legit as "it's not masturbation, I have a personal relationship with my fingers"...

[Amalynne0]

It's also a very long winded way of saying "it's not a religion, I have a personal relationship with god" which is about as legit as "it's not masturbation, I have a personal relationship with my fingers"...

Might I quote you on that? It's quite good.

[Dystopia]

Reply to his letter politely, write an organized coherent answer explaining your reasons to not believe in god. A good pastor will accept your reasons and just let you be, after probably saying something like 'if you change your mind, god is here for you'.

[vodkafan]

Amalynne,
I don't see that you have to write anything hurtful or try to shake his faith, mistaken and pathetic as he is. Just thank him for his concern but tell him that you don't believe it anymore and are happy the way you are .
I mean, what's the point of debating with him? None, he is too far gone as you say. But trying to land him a crushing Coup De Grace is beneath you. Why waste your energy? You are done with it and free.

[Jenny A]

You might instead try imaging what it would be like if you did go back to church and began openly questioning. Here's a little Penn story to get your humorous creative juices flowing:

I started arguing with the pastor. At first he encouraged me to ask anything. . . . I read "Why I Am Not a Christian" and Catch-22, and lots of Vonnegut. My discussions with the pastor got better and better, and then they got really great, and then. . . he needed to have a little talk with my parents. He explained to them that I wasn't getting much out of youth group. He told them with a laugh that I was converting the other children to atheism. . . .My quitting the church was sanctioned by the church. Sweet!

Penn Jillette, God, No! Signs You Might Already Be An Atheist and other Magical Tales

Trust me, as long as you don't actually have the debate, it can be very funny. If you have it, it'll only be funny later, like when you look back on vacation mishaps.

[JesusHChrist]

Since he references Noah, I'm guessing he's a YEC. Not much to be done with that species of believer.

You might just challenge back all his "god loves you" nonsense with the standard: "you'll have to demonstrate this god exists...", but then he'll no doubt launch into the usual absurdities: argument from design (look at all this cool stuff!), or first cause. I suppose it depends on how much you want to engage with the understanding it is not likely any of what you say will stick.

You could let him know there is zero evidence for Moses, the entire Exodus tale, the Flood, Noah, etc., but doubtful any of it would sink in. Attacking religion on epistemology sometimes helps (how do you know?). Usual response is "faith", which is a piss-poor way of knowing anything.

Or, you could be mean, tell him in your "search", you are considering Scientology as those body thetans sound really unpleasant and for only a few $$$ can be removed.

[The Grand Nudger]

The (grown)man has a deep personal relationship with an imaginary friend. That's not inspirational, it's fucking disturbing. Unrequited love isn't healthy....even when the other half actually exists and makes any effort or intimation whatsoever.