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RE: joke time
December 13, 2018 at 7:50 am
(This post was last modified: December 13, 2018 at 8:04 am by Brian37.)
"Dirty Deeds, Done Cohen Cheap" My SPOOF by me Brian37 spoof of the famous AC/DC song.
If your having trouble with the FBI
Mueller's giving you the blues
You want to stay in office and avoid the FEDS
Here's what you got to do
Pick up the phone, I'm Micheal Cohen
Call me anytime
1 6 zero zero
Campaign finance is my crime
Dirty Deeds, done Cohen cheap
Dirty Deeds, done Cohen cheap
Dirty Deeds, done Cohen cheap
Dirty Deeds and they're done Cohen cheap
Dirty deeds and they're done Cohen cheap
You got a problem with porn stars
No tower gave you a broken heart
Putin's interfering to give you a head start
That's when the investigation starts
Pick up the phone
I'm Micheal Cohen
Give The Enquirer a call
Come right in, I'll fix everything
Go and have a ball
Dirty Deeds, done Cohen cheap
Dirty Deeds, done Cohen cheap
Dirty Deeds, done Cohen cheap
Dirty Deeds and they're done Cohen cheap
Dirty Deeds and they're done Cohen cheap
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RE: joke time
December 15, 2018 at 9:24 pm
Quote:A police officer pulls over 2 Catholic priests. He says he’s looking for two child molesters.
The priests look at each other for a moment and then turn to the cop: "We’ll do it!"
Posts: 20476
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RE: joke time
December 15, 2018 at 10:21 pm
(This post was last modified: December 15, 2018 at 10:22 pm by ignoramus.)
A police officer pulls over a man who was driving erratically.
After giving him gives him a breathalyzer test, he says: Sir, you're over the limit!
The man responds: That's impossible officer, my Christmas breakup pub crawl was 3 days ago!
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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RE: joke time
December 20, 2018 at 3:56 am
^^^ I don't quite get that one, Iggy. What am I missing?
***
Quote:Girl: come over
Guy: I’m coming over
Girl: we should stop using walkie talkies in bed over
***
Quote:Why did the Pepsi employee get fired?
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RE: joke time
December 20, 2018 at 4:37 am
Sorry VL, it was a work in progress ... He drank so much at the pub crawl, he was basically still pissed after 3 days.
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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RE: joke time
December 20, 2018 at 4:49 am
(This post was last modified: December 20, 2018 at 5:20 am by Cod.)
(December 20, 2018 at 4:37 am)ignoramus Wrote: Sorry VL, it was a work in progress ... He drank so much at the pub crawl, he was basically still pissed after 3 days.
Been there, got the T-shirt 
What did the Buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
Bison.
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RE: joke time
December 28, 2018 at 7:31 pm
A real commercial I have a chuckle at and think......
So there is this ad for slip on shoes with no shoelaces. The implication is that you are going through airport security and it is a pain in the ass to untie your shoes, go through and have to re tie them. In it there is a lady security agent shouting, " SHOES OFF, BELTS OFF".... So the implication is to speed up your time going through by buying shoes without laces.
Every time I see this ad I chuckle and think, " This would be an awesome ad for a nudist camp."
"SHOES OFF, BELTS OFF, BOXERS OFF, BRIEFS OFF, PANTS OFF, SHIRTS OFF, BRAS AND PANTIES OFF!"
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RE: joke time
December 30, 2018 at 2:29 pm
Quote:As we landed in Saudi Arabia the pilot announced "Ladies and Gentlemen don't forget to adjust your watches to local time"
I thought to myself how do I turn it back to the 7th century?
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RE: joke time
December 30, 2018 at 6:52 pm
Fella comes home from his job at the condiment factory at noon, so his wife says, 'What are you doing here at this hour?'
'Got fired. They caught me with my dick in the pickle slicer.'
'That's terrible!'
'Tell me about it. I get fired, the pickle slicer gets a promotion and a corner office.'
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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RE: joke time
January 1, 2019 at 4:06 pm
'What's today's date?'
'A blonde with big tits and a hatful of Viagra.' - Uncle Junior, The Sopranos
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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