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joke time
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How may Spartans did it take to light an oil lamp?
3500. One to force one of the perioikoi to light it, and 3499 to make sure the helots didn't revolt. Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Paddy Murphy walked into his neighborhood pub promptly at 5 o’clock as he’d done for years. Mick, the pub keep, says to him:
Paddy! What’s happened to ya laddie? Ya look terrible! Both of your eyes are black, y’ur nose is pushed over to one side o’ y’ur face, it looks like they sewed your right ear back on! Paddy says: Oh, me and Sean O’Leary been a’ fightin’. Mick: Sean O’Leary?! That little shite? He couldn’t a done that to ya by himself. He must a had somethin’ in his hand. Paddy: Aye, that he did. A shovel it was, and a proper lickin’ he gave me with it too. Mick: What?! Sean O’Leary licked ya with a shovel??!! Surely ya had somethin’ in y’ur own hand. Paddy: Aye, I did. I had Ms. O’Leary’s breast in me hand, and a thing o’ beauty it was too, but useless in a fight!
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
My boss in a meeting, "Have you been listening to me for the past fifteen minutes?"
Me, "What an odd way to start a conversation!"
Dying to live, living to die.
 RE: joke time
February 14, 2019 at 1:28 pm
(This post was last modified: February 14, 2019 at 1:28 pm by no one.)
Your face!
![[Image: Tongue%20Wink.png]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=web.stardock.net%2Fimages%2Fsmiles%2Fthemes%2Fdigicons%2FTongue%2520Wink.png)
Today, I saw an advert that read, 'Radio for sale, $1. Volume stuck on "full" '. I thought to myself, 'I can't turn that down.'
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
RE: joke time
February 14, 2019 at 8:32 pm
(This post was last modified: February 14, 2019 at 8:45 pm by The Valkyrie.)
My friend, "Last night I slept like a baby!"
Me, "So, you shit yourself at 1am and then screamed until someone changed you?" Ex friend, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
Dying to live, living to die.
I'd like a coffee please with no milk.
I'm sorry sir, we're out of milk, so I took the liberty of making you a coffee without cream. I trust that will suffice? 
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear. 
This coffee tastes like mud!
That's funny, it was ground this morning.  |
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