joke time

[ignoramus]

In response to the invitation for a rather unusual reunion of all time greats.......

\* Newton said he'd drop in.
\* Socrates said he'd think about it.
\* Ohm resisted the idea.
\* Boyle said he was under too much pressure.
\* Darwin said he'd wait to see what evolved.
\* Pierre and Marie Curie radiated enthusiasm.
\* Volta was electrified at the prospect.
\* Pavlov positively drooled at the thought.
\* Ampere was worried he wasn't current enough though alternately none were.
\* Audubon said he'd have to wing it.
\* Edison thought it would be illuminating.
\* Einstein said it would be relatively easy to attend.
\* Archimedes was buoyant at the thought.
\* Dr Jekyll declined - he said he hadn't been feeling himself lately.
\* Morse said, "I'll be there on the dot. Can't stop now, must dash."
\* Gauss was asked to attend because of his magnetism.
\* Hertz said he planned to attend with greater frequency in the future.
\* Watt thought it would be a good way to let off steam.
\* Wilbur Wright accepted, provided he and Orville could get a flight.
\* And Dr. Sigmund Freud couldn't help but give it the slip!

---

Darwin won these awards. He won The Royal Medal (1853), The Wallaston Medal (1859), The Copley Medal (1864).
Some of his Christian rivals insist he was naturally selected to win these.

[The Valkyrie]

Robin Hood to peasant, "Take this gold, my poor friend."

Peasant, "I'm rich!"

Robin Hood, "You're WHAT?"

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Robin Hood to peasant, "Take this gold, my poor friend."

Peasant, "I'm rich!"

Robin Hood, "You're WHAT?"

‘Steals from the poor, gives to the rich,
Stupid bitch.’

Boru

[Darinda]

A man goes to the doctor, worried about his wife’s temper.
The doctor asks, “What’s the problem?” The man says, “Doctor, I don’t know what to do.
Every day my wife seems to lose her temper for no reason. It scares me.”
The doctor says, “I have a cure for that. When it seems that your wife is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth.
Just swish and swish but don’t swallow it until she either leaves the room or calms down.”
Two weeks later, the man comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.
The man says, “Doctor, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my wife started losing it, I swished with water.
I swished and swished, and she calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?”
The doctor says, “The water itself does nothing. It’s keeping your mouth shut that does the trick.”

[downbeatplumb]

Robin Hood to peasant, "Take this gold, my poor friend."

Peasant, "I'm rich!"

Robin Hood, "You're WHAT?"

‘Steals from the poor, gives to the rich,
Stupid bitch.’

Boru

Is this a Trump joke?

[Abaddon_ire]

‘Steals from the poor, gives to the rich,
Stupid bitch.’

Boru

Is this a Trump joke?

No.

It's reality.

Perhaps you want to watch the USA crash and burn.

I don't, and I am not even American, do not live there have never been part of the whole fiasco.

Nevertheless, it is a tragedy to me from afar that a once respected world leader is determined to convert itself into a third world country.

I guess the USA will simply have to learn the hard way.

I do feel for the inevitable pain my many US friends will go through, but there is nothing I can do about it from outside.

Face it. We were talking about a nation that put a man on the moon. We are now talking about an idiot in the White House. How low are you willing to sink, America?

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

‘Steals from the poor, gives to the rich,
Stupid bitch.’

Boru

Is this a Trump joke?

No, Trump could never hit that tree (not the willow, the other one) five times out of seven in this wind.

Boru

[ignoramus]

I will start worshipping at the altar of nihilism because nothing is sacred

[The Valkyrie]

At a bar last night with a friend.

Looked across the room and saw a couple of half-drunk chicks who are aging badly acting like a couple of idiots.

I said, "that's us in ten years."

My friend said, "that's a mirror, you stupid bitch!"

[ignoramus]

English chess champions are now banned from world tournaments.

It was deemed they have an unfair advantage. Their queen never bloody dies!