joke time

[Darinda]

A couple comes up to a wishing well. The guy leans over, makes a wish, and throws in a penny.
His wife decides to make a wish, too, but she leans over too far, falls into the well, and drowns.
The guy says, “Wow, it really works.”

[Private]

Two factory workers are talking The woman says, ‘I can make the boss give me the day off.” The man replies, ‘And how would you do that?”
The woman says, ‘Just wait and see.’ She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, ‘What are you doing?”
The woman replies, ‘I’m a light bulb.’
The boss then says, ‘You’ve been working so much that you’ve gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.”
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, ‘Where are you going?” The man says, ‘I’m going home, too. I can’t work in the dark.’

[The Valkyrie]

Jesus at the last supper.

Breaks bread, "This is my body."

Pours wine "This is my blood."

Opens bottle of mayonaise "This is my-"

Judas "FFS Jesus!"

[ignoramus]

^

[The Valkyrie]

^

I clicked on the wrong option and you nearly got a warning.

Bwa-ha-haaaa!

[ignoramus]

A warning in a joke thread? That's even funnier!

I mean, you can always give a warning to Brian for substandard quality! lol

[Little lunch]

Jesus at the last supper.

Breaks bread, "This is my body."

Pours wine "This is my blood."

Opens bottle of mayonaise "This is my-"

Judas "FFS Jesus!"

Pulls out Fondue Machine and Mountain Dew. :-)

[onlinebiker]

What's Irish and sits out in the rain?

---

Paddy O'furniture

---

[Darinda]

Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared.
“Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success,” he cackled. “I have been in the open air day after day for some 75 years now.”
The celebrants were impressed and asked how he managed to keep up his rigorous fitness regime.
“Well, you see my wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge. Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go outside and take a walk.”

[The Valkyrie]

A lonely man sits alone in an empty room. It is light outside and traffic can be heard.

An hour later the lonely man still sits in an empty room. Twilight has fallen and the traffic sounds are lessening.

Two hours later the lonely man still sits alone in the empty room. It is dark outside and the traffic noises have diminished to almost nothing. The lonely man turns on the light.

Four hours later the lonely man still sits alone in the empty room. The only sounds from outside come from crickets. The lonely man looks at his watch.

"Perhaps I should have told someone about Fight Club" says the lonely man.