I hate 'Star Wars' jokes. They always seem so Forced.
Boru
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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Current time: December 15, 2024, 11:05 am
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joke time
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Boooooooooooo!
You make people miserable and there's nothing they can do about it, just like god.
-- Homer Simpson God has no place within these walls, just as facts have no place within organized religion. -- Superintendent Chalmers Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins a movie by telling you how it ends. There are some things we don't want to know. Important things. -- Ned Flanders Once something's been approved by the government, it's no longer immoral. -- The Rev Lovejoy  RE: joke time
June 24, 2015 at 6:15 pm
(This post was last modified: June 24, 2015 at 6:15 pm by Cyberman.)
The latest conspiracy theory:
USB is a secret backup plan for when USA fails.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
Sorry. Wookie mistake.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Stayed at a Travelodge the other night. For breakast the next morning, I chose orange juice and one of those little individual serving boxes of cornflakes. The waitress saw I was having trouble opening it, so she came over to my table. "Just slide your finger between the flaps and open it up," she said as she stood over me in her short skirt.
Long story short, my case is set for next Tuesday.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
I take it you had breakfast in bed!
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
And it had curtains round it too!
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
To cashiers who insist on examining every single banknote: if I could forge money, do you honestly think I'd be shopping in Poundland?
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
RE: joke time
June 25, 2015 at 8:52 pm
(This post was last modified: June 25, 2015 at 8:53 pm by IATIA.)
Three guys on safari in cannibal country, they get caught, the chief tells them they have a chance to avoid being eaten.
He tells them to go out into the forest & bring back their favorite fruit. The first guy comes back with an apple. The chief tells him that if he can shove it up his ass without a display of emotion, he can live, and he does so successfully. The second guy comes back with a strawberry. The chief tells him the same thing, and he just about gets it in, when he breaks out laughing, sealing his fate. The perplexed chief asks him how he could have failed such a relatively easy test. "I couldn't help thinking about what the third guy picked", says the doomed guy. "It was a pineapple".
You make people miserable and there's nothing they can do about it, just like god.
-- Homer Simpson God has no place within these walls, just as facts have no place within organized religion. -- Superintendent Chalmers Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins a movie by telling you how it ends. There are some things we don't want to know. Important things. -- Ned Flanders Once something's been approved by the government, it's no longer immoral. -- The Rev Lovejoy  (June 25, 2015 at 8:52 pm)IATIA Wrote: Three guys on safari in cannibal country, they get caught, the chief tells them they have a chance to avoid being eaten. Not that it isn't funny, but just how loose an ass would you have to have to get a strawberry up it? How about a pecan instead?
If there is a god, I want to believe that there is a god. If there is not a god, I want to believe that there is no god.
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