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joke time
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Two weeks ago I bought a cow.
Now, every morning, I take it for a walk through the local vineyard. That's right... Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???" 
Server: Welcome! May I ask how old your daughter is?
Dad: She’s ten. Server: Well, you’ll be happy to hear that kids under twelve eat free. Dad: Great! I’ll have a water and my daughter will have the beef tenderloin and a house beer. Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
 RE: joke time
November 18, 2023 at 8:14 am
(This post was last modified: November 18, 2023 at 8:15 am by Fake Messiah.)
Two Catholic priests are having a conversation when one priest asks the other, "What would you do if you walked into your bedroom and saw a naked six-year-old boy sleeping on your bed?"
The second priest thinks a little bit and says "Nothing. What about you?" "Oh, same as you, I would lie."
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
(November 18, 2023 at 8:14 am)Fake Messiah Wrote: Two Catholic priests are having a conversation when one priest asks the other, "What would you do if you walked into your bedroom and saw a naked six-year-old boy sleeping on your bed?" My new phrase, "Today sucked more than a choirboy at a Catholic priest convention", isn't popular with some staff... Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals and IM LIVID about it.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
I've never played 'Oregon Trail' (not a gamer), but it seems that the game has a really touch non-player character. I keep hearing about players who 'have died of dissing Terry'.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Two nuns are walking down a dark street when two men accost them, drag them into an alley, and start having sex with them.
"Forgive them, father, for they know not what they do!" Yells the first none. "Speak for yourself," exclaims the second nun, "mine's a pro!" Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???" (December 2, 2023 at 2:59 am)The Valkyrie Wrote: Two nuns are walking down a dark street when two men accost them, drag them into an alley, and start having sex with them. Reminds me of: Three nuns are sitting on a park bench, discussing whatever the hell it is nuns discuss on park benches, when a naked man with a huge erection strolls by. The first nun had a stroke, The second nun had a stroke. The third nun didn't touch him. Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
(December 2, 2023 at 5:17 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote:(December 2, 2023 at 2:59 am)The Valkyrie Wrote: Two nuns are walking down a dark street when two men accost them, drag them into an alley, and start having sex with them. The version I know goes, "one had a stroke but the other couldn't reach." Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
After WWII, a British journalist was interviewing the Mother Superior of a liberated Italian abbey.
'The war was awful. First the Italian army came through and forced themselves on all of the nuns, except Sister Theresa. Then the German army came through and forced themselves on all of the nuns, except Sister Theresa. Then the French, the American, the British, the Russians - every time there was an army here, the soldiers forced themselves on all of the nuns. Except Sister Theresa.' 'Why not Sister Theresa?' 'Oh, Sister Theresa doesn't like that sort of thing.' Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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