Posts: 35733
Threads: 206
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation:
146
RE: joke time
February 22, 2025 at 10:57 pm
A drunk stagger over to the only other patron in a bar and asks him to buy him a drink.
"Of course", says the second man, also a little drunk, "but tell me, where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland," replies the first man.
"What a coincidence!", says the second, "let's drink to Ireland!"
So they down a pint each.
"And where in Ireland are you from?", asks the second man.
"I'm from Dublin!" Replies the first man.
"What a coincidence! Let's drink to Dublin!"
So they down another couple of pints.
"And where did you go to school?", asks the second man.
"Saint Mary's", says the first, "I graduated in 72!"
"How is this possible?", says the second man, "I also went to Saint Mary's and graduated in 72! Let's drink to Saint Mary's!"
And they down a few more pints together.
By now, more patrons have arrived.
One goes to the barman and asks, "What's going on?"
"The O'Malley twins are drunk again."
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
Posts: 35733
Threads: 206
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation:
146
RE: joke time
March 9, 2025 at 7:26 am
(This post was last modified: March 9, 2025 at 7:46 am by The Valkyrie.)
Apparently there's going to be a Friends reunion special made.
They're filming it exclusively in hot tubs.
But there's some sort of copyright battle going on about the title they want to use...
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
Posts: 48699
Threads: 551
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
March 14, 2025 at 3:43 pm
3.14% of people don’t celebrate Pi Day. Why? Because they’re irrational.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 34008
Threads: 1429
Joined: March 15, 2013
Reputation:
152
RE: joke time
March 15, 2025 at 10:28 pm
What do two bottom boys do in bed?
"Never trust a fox. Looks like a dog, behaves like a cat."
~ Erin Hunter
Posts: 34008
Threads: 1429
Joined: March 15, 2013
Reputation:
152
RE: joke time
March 18, 2025 at 11:04 am
(This post was last modified: March 18, 2025 at 11:10 am by Silver.)
Saw this and thought of Valk.
Only 6% of people can handle this puzzle: These 3 want to share two apples equally, how you handle this with using only one stroke of the knife.
![[Image: FkMVqZ3WAAENSuF?format=jpg&name=small]](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FkMVqZ3WAAENSuF?format=jpg&name=small)
"Never trust a fox. Looks like a dog, behaves like a cat."
~ Erin Hunter
Posts: 48699
Threads: 551
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
March 20, 2025 at 7:46 pm
‘Dad, I think I might be gay.’
‘No worries, son. I will always love you no matter what.’
*****
‘Dad, I bought a Tesla.’
‘Get the fuck out of my house.’
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 35733
Threads: 206
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation:
146
RE: joke time
March 22, 2025 at 4:50 am
(March 19, 2025 at 5:58 am)pocaracas Wrote: (March 18, 2025 at 11:04 am)Silver Wrote: Saw this and thought of Valk.
Only 6% of people can handle this puzzle: These 3 want to share two apples equally, how you handle this with using only one stroke of the knife.
Technically, if you angle the knife stroke just right. You can keep both apples...
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
Posts: 48699
Threads: 551
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
March 22, 2025 at 6:41 am
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 1707
Threads: 5
Joined: September 26, 2018
Reputation:
13
RE: joke time
March 22, 2025 at 11:03 am
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.
The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on.
After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, "You fellas ought to know your limits."
