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RE: joke time
October 25, 2015 at 4:01 pm
(This post was last modified: October 25, 2015 at 4:02 pm by Rhondazvous.)
(October 25, 2015 at 3:13 pm)Evie Wrote: You mean like that time I sat on a screwdriver? Ouch... I couldn't speak.
Toes curling. Your posts are not for the squeamish.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire
Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
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RE: joke time
October 25, 2015 at 4:56 pm
This may be a repeat, but...
A Priest, a rapist and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and asks "What are you having, father?"
Thief and assassin for hire. Member in good standing of the Rogues Guild.
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RE: joke time
October 25, 2015 at 6:15 pm
this lady was so fat that when she laid down on the beach, the people from greenpeace tried to roll her back into the ocean.
Her sister was so fat that a doctor diagnosed her with a flesh-easting disease and gave her 20 hears to live.
Woman was so fat that her high school graduation picture had to be an aerial view.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire
Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
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RE: joke time
October 25, 2015 at 6:53 pm
Fat lady jokes? Ok...
I once knew a lady that got barred from flying. She was soooooo fat that every time she flew, she altered the tides.
Once knew a lady so fat, her belts were sized "equator."
Thief and assassin for hire. Member in good standing of the Rogues Guild.
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RE: joke time
October 25, 2015 at 8:42 pm
(This post was last modified: October 25, 2015 at 8:44 pm by Rhondazvous.)
:lol: Snake
Try these on for size
This lady was so fat her blue jeans had runs in them.
She was so fat, she was on both sides of her family.
And then there was the lady who was so fat when she went to a restaurant, they didn't give her a menu. They gave her an estimate.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire
Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
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RE: joke time
October 27, 2015 at 1:02 pm
If you get an email or Facebook message about processed meat causing cancer, ignore it. It's just spam.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: joke time
October 27, 2015 at 4:28 pm
A man and his family were very poor and hungry most of the time. They lived on the farm next to the preacher’s farm where every day the saw the preacher’s bull grazing in a field. One day the man just couldn’t take it anymore, so he stole the bull and they had a feast. Out of guilt, he invited the preacher to come partake of the meal. After dinner, the kids went outside and the man and the preacher sat around the table patting their bellies.
Preacher: That sure was good.
Man: Thanks, reverend.
Preacher: I doubly appreciate it because somebody stole my bull and I couldn’t get a meal like this at home.
Man: You don’t say?
Preacher: Stole it right out of my field. Just like that.
Man: Humph! Stealing from the preacher. Some folks will do anything.
Finally the preacher went outside for a smoke. Presently he heard the kids singing and one boy’s song particularly interested him.
Boy: My papa kill the preacher’s bull/Me and my brother had a belly full.
Preacher: Son, would you sing that song again, please.
Boy: My papa kill the preacher’s bull/Me and my brother had a belly full.
Preacher: I’ll give you a dollar to sing that song in Church come Sunday.
The boy was so happy. His mama was proud. Her boy had been asked to sing in Church. Come Sunday, they all dressed up in their Sunday best, with shined shoes and greased faces, marching proudly into the congregation. When it came time the boy got up to sing.
Boy: My papa kill the preacher’s bull/Me and my brother had a belly full.
Man: Now son, (singing) You ate the first and you ate the last/When you get home I’m gonna kick your ass.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire
Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
