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joke time
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An elderly woman is walking by a pond in a park. A frog hops over to her and says "Kiss me and I'll turn into your Prince Charming!" The woman picks up the frog and sticks into her purse. The frog says "Hey lady! Don't you want to turn me into a prince?" The woman says " At my age I'll have more fun with a talking frog!"
God thinks it's fun to confuse primates. Larsen's God!
How do you fit twelve cops into a Mini?
Promote one to Chief Inspector, then the rest will crawl up his arsehole.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
Two antennae get married. The wedding is okay, but the reception is terrific.
I'm not anti-Christian. I'm anti-stupid.
 RE: joke time
August 25, 2017 at 9:41 am
(This post was last modified: August 25, 2017 at 9:45 am by Brian37.)
(August 25, 2017 at 8:53 am)Mister Agenda Wrote: Two antennae get married. The wedding is okay, but the reception is terrific. That is not what I heard, the skinny was that everyone was so stressed out they were wired. (August 25, 2017 at 7:52 am)Cyberman Wrote: How do you fit twelve cops into a Mini? Micky's girlfriend decides to start a soda pop company. He asks "That's great, but what are you going to sell." She responds, "1oz sodas". Perplexed he asks "Why 1oz sodas?" She responds, "Why not sell minisodas? My factory will be in Minneapolis".
Next time someone says to you "That's the last straw!"
Respond with, "What? Are you kidding? You can go to the grocery store and by more."
By astonishing coincidence, Barack Obama and Donald Trump are getting a haircut in the same barbershop at the same time. The barbers are very nervous and worried they'll start arguing, but all goes well. At the end of the haircut, they're each asked if they would like some cologne sprayed on their hair.
Trump says, 'No thinks, my wife Melania would think I smell like the inside of a bordello if I had that smell on me.' Obama says, 'Go ahead, my wife Michelle has no idea what the inside of a bordello smells like.'
I'm not anti-Christian. I'm anti-stupid.
If someone was trying to shoot the president, would the bodyguard shout: Donald Duck!
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Okay, that one really did make me laugh out loud!
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
My doctor just told me I'm colour blind. The news hit me like a bolt out of the purple.
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
It is a common tactic for businesses to give out free samples for marketing. Ok, so why don't banks do this?
But a urologist would not be a place where you would want a free sample. Funny how we can put human beings on the moon, but we can't put a "free" button on a cash register. What is the favorite billiard shot of a bank teller? A bank shot. |
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