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Current time: 23rd November 2017, 03:23

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joke time
RE: joke time
I recently walked into a shop.  14 stitches.

'There are people who long for immortality in the afterlife who don't know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.' - Isaac Asimov
RE: joke time
Had a weird experience today.

I was in town, minding my own business, and suddenly I heard a voice behind me saying my name. "Steve", it went.

So I looked around, but there was nobody there. Then the voice came again, and again it was behind me. "Steve."

Now I was puzzled, so I asked who it was and what they wanted. Instead of answering, the voice said simply "Park Street". I'm going mad, I thought; but curiosity got the better of me and so, being just around the corner anyway, I decided what the hell.

I walked the length of Park Street, until the voice came again: "Stop." I stopped. "Ground," it said. Looking down, I saw a £50 note!

I picked it up and again came the voice. "Casino," it said. Well, my luck seemed to be in, so I hurried to our little gaming establishment.

Inside, I waited for instructions. Sure enough, the voice said "Chip". So I handed over the cash and got a fifty-quid chip. "Roulette," said the voice. I looked about until I located the roulette wheel, then walked over.

Then the voice told me, "34." I waited for the croupier to ask for bets, then put down my stake. 34.

The croupier closed the betting and spun the wheel. Round and round it went. The colours were entrancing as they twisted and blurred together.

In went the ball. It spun around and around, the sound of its orbit filled my whole world.

The ball began to lose momentum, jumping around in ever-capricious fits and starts. Finally it settled into its chosen spot as the wheel slowed.

My heart was thumping, the blood pounding in my temples, my excitement at fever pitch as the wheel stopped and the croupier called out the winning number.

I couldn't believe it.


Then the voice came one final time.

At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
RE: joke time
So .................. did you have a shit right there? Dunno
Quote:AtlasS33 wrote:
"When it comes to the deiety I worship, he sent a book, it contained a message. I took that message, tested it, then I realized he is God : it didn't break against reality."
Pulse Wrote:
~ Atheism seems so incredibly counter intuitive, that to even begin to take it seriously, one has to suspend all logic."
Godscreated Wrote:
~ Magic is an illusion, what God does isn't an illusion it is real and unexplainable. If you mean I would call it a miracle, you're right."

Religion: making the uncomfortable comfortable for thousands of years.

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