Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: December 15, 2024, 10:46 am
Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

Thread Rating:
  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
joke time
Fireball Offline
Refractory Member
****
Religious Views: Nullifidian
Posts: 9912
Threads: 21
Joined: September 8, 2015
Reputation: 79
#2361
RE: joke time
December 30, 2017 at 6:55 pm
[Image: 5r8UL7M.jpg]
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
Find
Reply
KittyAnn Offline
Member
***
Religious Views: theist but curious
Posts: 1286
Threads: 15
Joined: October 31, 2017
Reputation: 36
#2362
RE: joke time
December 30, 2017 at 8:43 pm
Einstein, Newton and Pascal meet in heaven and decide to play hide-and-seek. 
Einstein hides the first and starts counting: 1,2,3 ...
Pascal quickly hides behind a cloud. 
Newton, however, doesn't know where to hide. 
So in the end, he draws a square ... meter per meter on the ground and stands in it. 
Einstein ends the count, turns around and immediately sees Newton and shouts:- Oh, Newton! I got you! 
On this Newton:- Not at all! You found Pascal.
"Alone is what I have. Alone protects me." 
“I may be on the side of the angels but don’t think for one second that I am one of them.”
“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existence. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery each day."
Find
Reply
vulcanlogician Offline
δικαιοσύνη
****
Religious Views: I Grok Spock
Posts: 5813
Threads: 86
Joined: November 19, 2017
Reputation: 59
#2363
RE: joke time
December 30, 2017 at 9:30 pm (This post was last modified: December 30, 2017 at 9:31 pm by vulcanlogician.)
Wow, Kitty. I had to use google to get that joke; people who know their stuff will love it.

But for the rest of us... (From https://electroncafe.wordpress.com/2011/...nce-jokes/ )

"Hoho! Because 1 Pascal = 1 Newton/m2[color=#000000]! See how much we are learning through jokes? "
Find
Reply
ignoramus Offline
wiggle wiggle
*****
Religious Views: n/a
Posts: 20476
Threads: 447
Joined: June 16, 2014
Reputation: 111
#2364
RE: joke time
December 31, 2017 at 4:17 am
(December 30, 2017 at 6:55 pm)Fireball Wrote: [Image: 5r8UL7M.jpg]

Someone needs to teach the dog the subtle difference between crack and crack!
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Find
Reply
Brian37 Offline
RationalPoet
*****
Religious Views: JGH 1933-2017 RIP MOM
Posts: 30726
Threads: 2123
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation: 71
#2365
RE: joke time
December 31, 2017 at 10:01 am
A cow goes to their local bank to apply for a loan. The loan officer asks, "Why do you need a loan?"

The cow responds, "Because I don't have the moo-la".
Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37  I also have a new blog here at https://www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
Find
Reply
Haipule Offline
Member
***
Religious Views: yes...Theist Dick
Posts: 879
Threads: 57
Joined: November 8, 2017
Reputation: 6
#2366
RE: joke time
January 1, 2018 at 5:54 pm
I hate being bipolar...IT'S AWESOME!
My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker. Well...she's not my girlfriend "yet".

I discovered a new vitamin that fights cancer. I call it ...B9

I also invented a diet pill. It works great but had to quit taking it because of the side effects. Turns out my penis is larger and my hair grew back. And whoa! If you think my hair is nice!

When does size truly matter? When it's TOO big!

I'm currently working on a new pill I call "Destenze". However...now my shoes don't fit.
Find
Reply
chimp3 Offline Donators
Chimp Magnet
*****
Religious Views: NoReligion2
Posts: 5664
Threads: 219
Joined: June 20, 2016
Reputation: 61
#2367
RE: joke time
January 1, 2018 at 6:23 pm
(December 31, 2017 at 4:17 am)ignoramus Wrote:
(December 30, 2017 at 6:55 pm)Fireball Wrote: [Image: 5r8UL7M.jpg]

Someone needs to teach the dog the subtle difference between crack and crack!
They already know!
God thinks it's fun to confuse primates. Larsen's God!






Find
Reply
Minimalist Offline Donators
Go Blow Jesus Out Your Ass
*****
Religious Views: Fuck It
Posts: 69247
Threads: 3759
Joined: August 2, 2009
Reputation: 259
#2368
RE: joke time
January 1, 2018 at 9:57 pm
[Image: d8pJmUD.jpg]
Find
Reply
pgrimes15 Offline Donators
Donator
*****
Religious Views: atheist
Posts: 439
Threads: 18
Joined: October 11, 2011
Reputation: 12
#2369
RE: joke time
January 1, 2018 at 10:01 pm
What is a magicians favourite dog?

A labracadabrador.
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful. — Edward Gibbon

Find
Reply
vulcanlogician Offline
δικαιοσύνη
****
Religious Views: I Grok Spock
Posts: 5813
Threads: 86
Joined: November 19, 2017
Reputation: 59
#2370
RE: joke time
January 1, 2018 at 10:14 pm
(January 1, 2018 at 9:57 pm)Minimalist Wrote: [Image: d8pJmUD.jpg]

Because I had the idea of the man taking a shit in my head already, it took me a minute to figure out what it really was. Lol!
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  No joke -- I have decided to convert to Christianity! Jehanne 10 2748 April 23, 2021 at 9:54 pm
Last Post: arewethereyet
  A sacred joke. Mystic 15 3310 January 20, 2018 at 10:00 pm
Last Post: Cyberman
  Big Bang Theory Neil Tyson joke Brian37 1 1607 May 18, 2016 at 8:07 pm
Last Post: vorlon13
  There Has To Be A Joke Here, Somewhere! Minimalist 3 2539 October 1, 2014 at 10:57 pm
Last Post: Zidneya
  Joke Minimalist 59 18797 June 27, 2014 at 12:25 am
Last Post: Ravenshire
  A little joke Sup 11 4743 April 10, 2014 at 7:33 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  Evolution (is a) joke JesusLover1 12 9434 March 2, 2014 at 6:24 pm
Last Post: Minimalist
  Preacher joke 02 Drich 2 1993 February 12, 2014 at 7:15 am
Last Post: NoraBrimstone
  Preacher joke 01 Drich 8 4844 January 20, 2014 at 12:31 am
Last Post: Drich
  Make Up An Atheist Joke freedomfromforum 5 3050 October 6, 2013 at 12:30 am
Last Post: Angrboda



Users browsing this thread: 263 Guest(s)