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RE: joke time
January 5, 2018 at 6:39 pm
(December 30, 2017 at 9:30 pm)vulcanlogician Wrote: Wow, Kitty. I had to use google to get that joke; people who know their stuff will love it.
But for the rest of us... (From https://electroncafe.wordpress.com/2011/...nce-jokes/ )
"Hoho! Because 1 Pascal = 1 Newton/m2[color=#000000]! See how much we are learning through jokes? "
I like it now! And they say if you have to explain a joke it’s not funny.
It is said that an argument is what convinces reasonable men and a proof is what it takes to convince even an unreasonable man. - Alexander Vilenkin
If I am shown my error, I will be the first to throw my books into the fire. - Martin Luther
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RE: joke time
January 5, 2018 at 7:13 pm
Crap - I can't find my "Gone In 60 Seconds" DVD anywhere.
I had it a minute ago.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: joke time
January 5, 2018 at 9:11 pm
(This post was last modified: January 5, 2018 at 10:59 pm by vulcanlogician.)
Doctor: I have some bad news. You have cancer.
Patient: Oh! That's horrible.
Doctor: Well that's not all. You also have alzheimer's.
Patient: Oh well, at least I don't have cancer.
***
One night a man strolls over to his wife with a glass of water and an aspirin.
"Here, honey. This is for your headache."
"But I don't have a headache," she replied.
Then he smiled and said, "Gotcha!"
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RE: joke time
January 5, 2018 at 9:37 pm
Man with Alzheimer's: "Every time with you baby is like the first time!"
My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker. Well...she's not my girlfriend "yet".
I discovered a new vitamin that fights cancer. I call it ...B9
I also invented a diet pill. It works great but had to quit taking it because of the side effects. Turns out my penis is larger and my hair grew back. And whoa! If you think my hair is nice!
When does size truly matter? When it's TOO big!
I'm currently working on a new pill I call "Destenze". However...now my shoes don't fit.
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RE: joke time
January 5, 2018 at 10:31 pm
(January 5, 2018 at 9:11 pm)vulcanlogician Wrote: Doctor: I have some bad news. You have cancer.
Patient: Oh! That's horrible.
Doctor: Well that's not all. You also have alzheimer's.
Patient: Man, that sucks. Oh well, at least I don't have cancer.
***
One night a man strolls over to his wife with a glass of water and an aspirin.
"Here, honey. This is for your headache."
"But I don't have a headache," she replied.
Then he smiled and said, "Gotcha!"
I hope she didn't tell him to go fuck himself?
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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RE: joke time
January 6, 2018 at 12:21 am
(January 2, 2018 at 12:24 pm)Little lunch Wrote: I felt like eating pizza last night so I got on the phone and ordered a thin and crusty supreme.
They sent me Diana Ross.
Wife says to her hubby, 'you never take me anywhere expensive anymore.'
He says, 'alright, get your coat on.'
She says, 'why, where are we going?'
He says, 'to the petrol station.'
A woman presents herself at the doctors and there's a piece of lettuce hanging out the top of her knickers.
The doc says, 'that looks nasty.'
She says, 'it's just the tip of the iceberg.'
WTF, these are good jokes and just two reps.
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RE: joke time
January 6, 2018 at 7:45 pm
Married couple at a Zoo walks past a gorilla enclosure.
Says the woman: 'Mark, Do you know that gorillas are the only animals which resemble men in their behavior?
Look, seeing that no one is looking, I'll expose one of my breasts 2 it & see how horny it gets just as men do.'
Mary then exposes one of her breasts, and, sure enough the gorilla gets excited and grabs the bars of the enclosure as if it wanted to break free.
'See,' says the woman, 'Now, I know why you react the way you do; men can't control their animal instincts just like gorillas can't.'
Says Mark: 'Now expose both breasts and let us see what happens.'
The woman exposes both breasts to the gorilla and it gets very excited and is now desperately trying to escape from the enclosure.
Says Mark: 'This is incredible, now, pull your skirt up, turn around and expose your bum and let us see what happens!'
The woman pulls her skirt up, turns around with her bum to the gorilla, which by now ,was extremely aroused, breaks free from the enclosure, grabs the woman and starts yanking the clothes off her.
The woman yells: 'Mark , what do I do now? Please, help me!'
Mark replies: 'Now, tell him you have a headache and you're not in mood ... Let us see if Gorillas and Men are the same
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RE: joke time
January 7, 2018 at 12:58 pm
Husband's Cousin: God helped Trump become President!
Me: I didn't realize Vladimir Putin was God.
The whole tone of Church teaching in regard to woman is, to the last degree, contemptuous and degrading. - Elizabeth Cady Stanton
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RE: joke time
January 7, 2018 at 3:16 pm
Kid "Mr Owl, you solved the Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop question, but I have another."
Mr Owl "Ok, go ahead."
Kid, "How many Cleveland Brows does it take to get to a Superbowl?"
Owl, " Don't make me laugh."
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RE: joke time
January 7, 2018 at 3:31 pm
Why don't they play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
(I'll be here all night folks)
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