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Current time: April 29, 2024, 12:31 pm
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joke time
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 (May 3, 2018 at 8:07 pm)JeffofGallifrey Wrote: Q. What's the difference between Mountain Dew and regular dew?Don't get it. Please explain.
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful. — Edward Gibbon
 
Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog, the frog dies.
Only frog killers ask for explanations.  (May 5, 2018 at 3:55 am)Brian37 Wrote:(May 5, 2018 at 3:46 am)pgrimes15 Wrote: Don't get it. Please explain. This. Oh, and you can also interpret it as "Mountain dew is piss from a mountain goat." It's my favorite joke at the moment, because the double meaning rocks. 
Alright. I found this one way funnier than is reasonable.
What did the octogenarian pirate say on his birthday? "Aye matey!"
In every country and every age, the priest had been hostile to Liberty.
- Thomas Jefferson  (May 5, 2018 at 5:09 am)Little lunch Wrote: Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog, the frog dies. What's wrong with killing French people?
Dying to live, living to die.
 
People who don't understand the difference between 'entomology' and 'etymology' bug me in ways that I cannot put into words.
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
A crusty old golfer comes in from a round of golf at a new course and heads into the grill room. As he passes through the swinging doors he sees a sign hanging over the bar :
COLD BEER: $2.00 HAMBURGER: $2.25 CHEESEBURGER: $2.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH : $3.50 HAND JOB: $50.00 Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary payment, the old golfer walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled golfers. She glides down behind the bar to the old golfer. "Yes?" she inquires with a wide, knowing smile, "May I help you?" The old golfer leans over the bar an whispers, "I was wondering, young lady," he whispers, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs? " She looks into his eyes with that wide smile and purrs: "Yes Sir , I sure am." The old golfer leans closer and into her left ear and says softly, "Well, wash your hands real fucking good because I want a cheeseburger." |
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