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RE: joke time
March 10, 2019 at 5:10 pm
This was sent tome by my Sis. Have no idea from whence it came.
Physicians were unable to reach a consensus: Should Brexit take place?
The Allergists were in favour of scratching it but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.
The Gastroenterologist's had sort of a gut feeling about it but the Neurologists thought May had a lot of nerve.
Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, while the Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.
Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, "Oh, grow up!"
The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.
Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and the Internists claimed it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow.
The Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would "put a whole new face on the matter."
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.
Anaesthetists thought the whole idea was a gas, and those lofty Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.
In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Parliament.”
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RE: joke time
March 10, 2019 at 5:13 pm
(March 10, 2019 at 5:10 pm)fredd bear Wrote: This was sent tome by my Sis. Have no idea from whence it came.
Physicians were unable to reach a consensus: Should Brexit take place?
The Allergists were in favour of scratching it but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.
The Gastroenterologist's had sort of a gut feeling about it but the Neurologists thought May had a lot of nerve.
Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, while the Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.
Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, "Oh, grow up!"
The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.
Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and the Internists claimed it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow.
The Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would "put a whole new face on the matter."
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.
Anaesthetists thought the whole idea was a gas, and those lofty Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.
In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Parliament.”
That was damned good!
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RE: joke time
March 11, 2019 at 5:47 am
(March 5, 2019 at 5:36 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Me to patient, "Jim, I have bad news."
Jim, "What is it?"
Me, "You have to stop masturbating!"
Jim, "Oh god! Why??"
Me, "Because I'm trying to talk to you!"
To be fair to the patient you are damn sexy.
You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid.
Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis.
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RE: joke time
March 11, 2019 at 6:07 am
My girlfriend has told me that if I don't get off my laptop she's going to smash my head against the keyboard. I don't think she canfgyt67ujhygfrlpoi
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RE: joke time
March 11, 2019 at 3:27 pm
I always wanted to be a Gregorian monk, but I never got the chants.
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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RE: joke time
March 11, 2019 at 3:27 pm
(March 11, 2019 at 6:07 am)IWNKYAAIMI Wrote: My girlfriend has told me that if I don't get off my laptop she's going to smash my head against the keyboard. I don't think she canfgyt67ujhygfrlpoi
Feel you. My wife once told me I was being immature, so I told her to get the hell out of my fort.
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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RE: joke time
March 12, 2019 at 9:32 am
I got into an Ultimate Fighting cage match in a German beer mug, and got my ass kicked. I was Liechtenstein.
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RE: joke time
March 13, 2019 at 1:52 pm
I'm thinking of moving to Switzerland. Not ideal weather, but the flag is a big plus.
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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RE: joke time
March 13, 2019 at 2:14 pm
My son-in-law (who is black) said this today, and got a good laugh from me:
"You know why I'm glad I videotaped the birth of my kids?"
"So you'll have the memories forever?"
"So I'll have some proof when they decide to run for President, and everyone is like "Where's the birth certificate? Where's the birth certificate? Can you prove you were born in America?" and they can be like "Bitch please, my daddy videotaped the whole thing."
"Tradition" is just a word people use to make themselves feel better about being an asshole.
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RE: joke time
March 13, 2019 at 2:27 pm
(March 13, 2019 at 2:14 pm)Divinity Wrote: My son-in-law (who is black) said this today, and got a good laugh from me:
"You know why I'm glad I videotaped the birth of my kids?"
"So you'll have the memories forever?"
"So I'll have some proof when they decide to run for President, and everyone is like "Where's the birth certificate? Where's the birth certificate? Can you prove you were born in America?" and they can be like "Bitch please, my daddy videotaped the whole thing."
You're lying. He'd not black, he is plaid!
He was born in Scotland. I"ve seen his skirt, and never mind his bigger bagpipes than mine. (Note to self: Did I think this, or type it?)
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