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RE: joke time
September 17, 2020 at 10:25 pm
(This post was last modified: September 17, 2020 at 10:47 pm by The Valkyrie.)
Conservative Christian at prayer, "Lord. Why do you send all these trials upon us? Why do you make our lives so difficult? Why do you make us suffer? Is it because of the gays?:
God, "Yes."
Conservative Christian, "I knew it. We must do what we can about this abominations! We must keep them away from decent people."
God, "No, you don't understand. I'm punishing you for the way you treat them."
Dying to live, living to die.
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RE: joke time
September 18, 2020 at 4:21 am
^
Conservative Christian: then why did you make me an asshole?
God: I made you in my image
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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RE: joke time
September 19, 2020 at 3:02 am
When the person who invented USB dies, they'll lower him into the ground at the funeral, lift the coffin out of the ground, turn it around, and then lower it again.
Dying to live, living to die.
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RE: joke time
September 21, 2020 at 5:41 pm
A man is headed home home, he gets stuck in traffic. After about 10 minutes, there is a knock on his window. He rolls it down:
Driver: "What's going on?"
Stranger: "A terrorist group has seized the first family. They are demanding 500 million dollars, or they will douse them in gasoline, and set them on fire we are accepting donations."
Driver: "How much is everyone donating? "
Stranger: "About 1/2 a gallon."
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RE: joke time
September 22, 2020 at 8:52 pm
If you're ever attacked by a swarm of circus folk, go for the juggler!
Dying to live, living to die.
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RE: joke time
September 22, 2020 at 11:20 pm
On a first date at a bar.
Him, "Can I push your stool in?:
Her, "Let's see how the evening progresses, first."
Dying to live, living to die.
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RE: joke time
September 23, 2020 at 5:26 am
Mike Pence is so dull, his Secret Service code name is 'Mike Pence'.
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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RE: joke time
September 23, 2020 at 8:42 am
I bought some antacid.
Now my bathroom is full of stoned ants!
Dying to live, living to die.
