Posts: 1605
Threads: 0
Joined: October 2, 2018
Reputation:
11
RE: joke time
February 15, 2021 at 7:20 pm
(This post was last modified: February 15, 2021 at 7:26 pm by A. Secular Human.)
(February 14, 2021 at 6:11 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: My friend was so excited about being pregnant, she called around to everyone she knew.
It was late in the evening when she finally called me with the news.
"Can you believe I have someone inside me?" She asked excitedly.
"So do I, can I call you back in an hour?" I replied.
An HOUR?
Good for you!
(February 15, 2021 at 8:58 am)The Valkyrie Wrote: Two nuns have been overseas where they bought too much duty free booze and cigarettes. They arrive back in their home country and approach the customs desk.
The older nun leads her companion to the "nothing to declare" line.
As they're waiting their turn, the younger nun asks, "What do we do if they ask about the booze and cigarettes?"
"Being a nun has its perks. When you get to the desk, just show them your cross," replies the older nun.
Finally their turn comes and the younger nun is called to the customs desk.
She walk up and immediately says, "Fuck off, ya wankers!"
Apostrophes are your friend...
...and no, they're not atrophied apostles....
Disappointing theists since 1968!
Posts: 46318
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
February 16, 2021 at 6:18 am
I once debated a Flat Earther who got so mad, he stormed off and said he was going to walk off the edge of the world to prove me wrong. I'm not worried - he'll come around eventually.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 30726
Threads: 2123
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation:
71
RE: joke time
February 16, 2021 at 2:03 pm
A tornado, hurricane and earthquake walk into a bar. Days later they all gave it a a bad review on Yelp. They all said it was a disaster.
Posts: 46318
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
February 17, 2021 at 5:15 am
News Report:
A local man was admitted to hospital after inserting six small plastic horses into his rectum. Doctors have reported his condition as 'stable'.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 46318
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
February 17, 2021 at 1:14 pm
I don't understand why some men pay prostitutes to degrade and humiliate them...just get married and fold the towels wrong.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 9912
Threads: 21
Joined: September 8, 2015
Reputation:
79
RE: joke time
February 17, 2021 at 1:48 pm
(February 17, 2021 at 1:14 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: I don't understand why some men pay prostitutes to degrade and humiliate them...just get married and fold the towels wrong.
Boru
 After I was married and my wife moved in, I told her that the towels have to be folded a certain way. She gave me that look, so I laughed and explained that it was the only way they would fit in the tiny cabinet and one would still be able to close the door.
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
Posts: 46318
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
February 17, 2021 at 1:51 pm
I shocked a former girlfriend when she learned that I only owned one bath towel. Bachelor thinking: Since the towel only touches me when I'm clean, the towel never gets dirty.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 1897
Threads: 33
Joined: August 25, 2015
Reputation:
27
RE: joke time
February 17, 2021 at 1:54 pm
Did you hear Rush Limbaugh died? It's good news. I don't like to hear about anyone suffering, and he caused so much of it!
"Tradition" is just a word people use to make themselves feel better about being an asshole.
Posts: 46318
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
February 17, 2021 at 2:46 pm
(February 17, 2021 at 1:54 pm)Divinity Wrote: Did you hear Rush Limbaugh died? It's good news. I don't like to hear about anyone suffering, and he caused so much of it!
It was lung cancer that carried him off, so let’s hope it was a long, slow, lingering death.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 1605
Threads: 0
Joined: October 2, 2018
Reputation:
11
RE: joke time
February 17, 2021 at 8:30 pm
(February 17, 2021 at 2:46 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: (February 17, 2021 at 1:54 pm)Divinity Wrote: Did you hear Rush Limbaugh died? It's good news. I don't like to hear about anyone suffering, and he caused so much of it!
It was lung cancer that carried him off, so let’s hope it was a long, slow, lingering death.
Boru
" I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
- Clarence Darrow, 1932
Disappointing theists since 1968!
|
