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Current time: May 16, 2026, 10:47 am
Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

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joke time
The Valkyrie Offline
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#4731
RE: joke time
April 3, 2021 at 5:24 am
Remember, Jesus died on the cross because he forgot his safe word.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
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Jackie Offline
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#4732
RE: joke time
April 3, 2021 at 6:19 am
(April 3, 2021 at 5:24 am)The Valkyrie Wrote: Remember, Jesus died on the cross because he forgot his safe word.

His safe word was, "Me".
Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37  I also have a new blog here at https://www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
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ignoramus Offline
wiggle wiggle
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#4733
RE: joke time
April 3, 2021 at 7:49 am (This post was last modified: April 3, 2021 at 7:50 am by ignoramus.)
(April 3, 2021 at 4:35 am)The Valkyrie Wrote: Iggy was on his first date with a new girlfriend.

After dinner and a movie, he drove her back to her place to drop her off.

She leaned in and gave him a goodnight kiss.

Then she got out, closed the door, and leaned into the open window.  She smiled and said, "I have a rule that we have to wait three months before we have sex."

Iggy gunned his mustang and said, "Okay.  I'll call you closer to the time," and drove away.

I just mentioned to the Mrs the other day: Did you ever imagine in your wildest dreams that you and I are now retired, in Queensland, and living the dream?

She just said with a confused look on her face: In my "wildest dreams", you don't even get a mention!
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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awty Offline
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#4734
RE: joke time
April 3, 2021 at 8:02 am
(April 3, 2021 at 7:49 am)░I░G░N░O░R░A░M░U░S ░ Wrote:
(April 3, 2021 at 4:35 am)The Valkyrie Wrote: Iggy was on his first date with a new girlfriend.

After dinner and a movie, he drove her back to her place to drop her off.

She leaned in and gave him a goodnight kiss.

Then she got out, closed the door, and leaned into the open window.  She smiled and said, "I have a rule that we have to wait three months before we have sex."

Iggy gunned his mustang and said, "Okay.  I'll call you closer to the time," and drove away.

I just mentioned to the Mrs the other day: Did you ever imagine in your wildest dreams that you and I are now retired, in Queensland, and living the dream?

She just said with a confused look on her face: In my "wildest dreams", you don't even get a mention!
This sounds like a response my husband would get from me...except that it would be only in the dialog in my head.  If I said it out loud he would be in a pissy mood  for days/weeks/months.
What fresh hell can this be? - Dorothy Parker
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polymath257 Offline
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#4735
RE: joke time
April 3, 2021 at 10:38 am
What's white ad shoots across the sky?

The second cumming of Jesus.
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#4736
RE: joke time
April 4, 2021 at 1:07 pm
I cried when me mum chopped Onions. Onions was such a good dog.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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Fireball Offline
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#4737
RE: joke time
April 4, 2021 at 3:01 pm
[Image: OijCEFU.jpg]
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
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#4738
RE: joke time
April 4, 2021 at 3:14 pm
(April 4, 2021 at 3:01 pm)Fireball Wrote: [Image: OijCEFU.jpg]

Isn't that a Canadian tank?

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
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The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
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Religious Views: Time to end them
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#4739
RE: joke time
April 4, 2021 at 4:13 pm
Last night I went to sleep with my phone under my pillow.

This morning it was gone.

Fucking bluetooth fairy!

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#4740
RE: joke time
April 4, 2021 at 4:15 pm
(April 4, 2021 at 3:14 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote:
(April 4, 2021 at 3:01 pm)Fireball Wrote: [Image: OijCEFU.jpg]

Isn't that a Canadian tank?

It is. And this is its artillery support:

[Image: tregPSv5p70Xc-AateJ-pnJJvwmNXX-6uVQslM7H...GJtLgLqX74]

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

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