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Current time: December 16, 2024, 12:16 am

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joke time
RE: joke time
Iggy was on his first date with a new girlfriend.

After dinner and a movie, he drove her back to her place to drop her off.

She leaned in and gave him a goodnight kiss.

Then she got out, closed the door, and leaned into the open window. She smiled and said, "I have a rule that we have to wait three months before we have sex."

Iggy gunned his mustang and said, "Okay. I'll call you closer to the time," and drove away.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
RE: joke time
Remember, Jesus died on the cross because he forgot his safe word.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
RE: joke time
(April 3, 2021 at 5:24 am)The Valkyrie Wrote: Remember, Jesus died on the cross because he forgot his safe word.

His safe word was, "Me".
Reply
RE: joke time
(April 3, 2021 at 4:35 am)The Valkyrie Wrote: Iggy was on his first date with a new girlfriend.

After dinner and a movie, he drove her back to her place to drop her off.

She leaned in and gave him a goodnight kiss.

Then she got out, closed the door, and leaned into the open window.  She smiled and said, "I have a rule that we have to wait three months before we have sex."

Iggy gunned his mustang and said, "Okay.  I'll call you closer to the time," and drove away.

I just mentioned to the Mrs the other day: Did you ever imagine in your wildest dreams that you and I are now retired, in Queensland, and living the dream?

She just said with a confused look on her face: In my "wildest dreams", you don't even get a mention!
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Reply
RE: joke time
(April 3, 2021 at 7:49 am)░I░G░N░O░R░A░M░U░S ░ Wrote:
(April 3, 2021 at 4:35 am)The Valkyrie Wrote: Iggy was on his first date with a new girlfriend.

After dinner and a movie, he drove her back to her place to drop her off.

She leaned in and gave him a goodnight kiss.

Then she got out, closed the door, and leaned into the open window.  She smiled and said, "I have a rule that we have to wait three months before we have sex."

Iggy gunned his mustang and said, "Okay.  I'll call you closer to the time," and drove away.

I just mentioned to the Mrs the other day: Did you ever imagine in your wildest dreams that you and I are now retired, in Queensland, and living the dream?

She just said with a confused look on her face: In my "wildest dreams", you don't even get a mention!
This sounds like a response my husband would get from me...except that it would be only in the dialog in my head.  If I said it out loud he would be in a pissy mood  for days/weeks/months.
[Image: MmQV79M.png]  
                                      
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RE: joke time
What's white ad shoots across the sky?

The second cumming of Jesus.
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RE: joke time
I cried when me mum chopped Onions. Onions was such a good dog.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: joke time
[Image: OijCEFU.jpg]
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
Reply
RE: joke time
(April 4, 2021 at 3:01 pm)Fireball Wrote: [Image: OijCEFU.jpg]

Isn't that a Canadian tank?

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
RE: joke time
Last night I went to sleep with my phone under my pillow.

This morning it was gone.

Fucking bluetooth fairy!

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply



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