So there was this aspiring sperm who was hell bent on beating all the other sperm to the egg. He worked out, lifted weights, and buffed up like Arnold. So the day came(pun intended), and he is running over everyone and gets way ahead of all the other sperm, but suddenly stops and turns around and shouts, "GO BACK GO BACK!" . Another sperm asks why, and he responds, " IT'S A BLOW JOB!"
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Current time: May 22, 2026, 12:50 pm
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joke time
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Really?
Ripping off Woody Allen? ![[Image: woody-allen-as-a-sperm-in-a-scene-from-t...d159836603]](https://media.gettyimages.com/photos/woody-allen-as-a-sperm-in-a-scene-from-the-film-every-thing-you-to-picture-id159836603)
  RE: joke time
September 23, 2021 at 5:34 pm
(This post was last modified: September 23, 2021 at 5:39 pm by A. Secular Human.)
(September 23, 2021 at 3:21 pm)onlinebiker Wrote: Really? Is the "What am *I* doing here?" dude sitting in the back of the vas deferens? (September 23, 2021 at 3:53 pm)Brian37 Wrote:(September 23, 2021 at 3:21 pm)onlinebiker Wrote: Really? Who undoubtedly stole it from "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex* (* But Were Afraid to Ask)". Receiving stolen goods is still a crime.
Disappointing theists since 1968!
 (September 23, 2021 at 3:53 pm)Brian37 Wrote:(September 23, 2021 at 3:21 pm)onlinebiker Wrote: Really? Bold mine - Imagine that.
What fresh hell can this be? - Dorothy Parker
-Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens? When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach
-As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice. -My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf
"Change was inevitable"
Nemo sicut deus debet esse! ![[Image: Canada_Flag.jpg?v=1646203843]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=cdn.shopify.com%2Fs%2Ffiles%2F1%2F0630%2F5310%2F3332%2Fproducts%2FCanada_Flag.jpg%3Fv%3D1646203843) “No matter what men think, abortion is a fact of life. Women have always had them; they always have and they always will. Are they going to have good ones or bad ones? Will the good ones be reserved for the rich, while the poor women go to quacks?” –SHIRLEY CHISHOLM 
It's never too early to start hinting about Christmas gifts - my wife has been leaving jewelry catalogues all over the house. I pride myself on being able to pick up on these signals, so I'm going to build her a magazine rack.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
RE: joke time
September 24, 2021 at 9:40 am
(This post was last modified: September 24, 2021 at 10:27 am by Jackie.)
(September 23, 2021 at 5:34 pm)A. Secular Human Wrote:(September 23, 2021 at 3:21 pm)onlinebiker Wrote: Really? Yea, and Time/Warner Music attempted to copywrite the song "Happy Birthday". I take this as seriously as the disclaimer at the beginning and ending of NFL games that imply one cant even talk about them without their written permission as if they are some secret society oath. And do you know how many breakfast joints in America make Mickey Mouse pancakes without Disney's permission? How many people leave a movie and quote the lines from that movie. That is to be expected. Theft would be physically copying the movie for financial gain and selling the fake copy for financial gain. Otherwise the millions of people who leave movie theaters every weekend should be in jail for talking about what they saw. (September 23, 2021 at 7:57 pm)Helios Wrote: -Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens? When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach HA HA HA HA HA HA. Love it! "Bach, Bach, Bach". I am glad I wasn't drinking or eating anything when I read that.
Copyright...for the second time.
What fresh hell can this be? - Dorothy Parker
The best thing you can say after telling a cornball joke, whatever the context, or plot, after they roll their eyes is "I like shiny objects."
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