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RE: joke time
October 2, 2021 at 10:25 pm
(October 2, 2021 at 10:21 pm)Fireball Wrote: (October 2, 2021 at 9:43 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: That's why you shoot old men.
What?
Interestingly enough, the site where I saw that joke had a 3rd answer. It's a shooting forum-
3. He'll just shoot you.
Given the general revulsion with firearms around here, I left that option out.
I don't have a revulsion for firearms, just the absolute reverence some people have for them.
I recent picture I saw had a guy with what appeared to be a pair of western-style holsters and a rocket launcher on his back...
...while buying Subway.
WTAF??
Dying to live, living to die.
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RE: joke time
October 3, 2021 at 1:46 am
I wonder if Boba Fett is on earth atm 
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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RE: joke time
October 3, 2021 at 5:39 am
Her: 'You know, you're over 50. Maybe it's time you give up some of your man-toys and start acting like an adult.'
Me: 'Jaysus, you're beginning to sound like my ex-wife.'
Her: 'What? You never told me you were married before!'
Me: 'I haven't been.'
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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RE: joke time
October 3, 2021 at 8:23 am
A drunk fellow at the end of the bar calls for a beer. The
Bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar. It
Hits a blond lady's breasts and spills all over them. The
bartender goes over, retrieves the mug and licks the
Beer off of her breasts.
This happens a couple more times.
The next time, the drunk jumps up and starts to lick
Her breasts. She decks him! He's laying on the floor
Moaning and groaning.
The drunk asks, 'Why do you let the bartender do it?'
'Because he has -
(your gonna love this)
A LICKER LICENSE!
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RE: joke time
October 3, 2021 at 9:06 pm
(This post was last modified: October 3, 2021 at 9:06 pm by The Architect Of Fate.)
-If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you're a total hero. But donate five and suddenly everyone is yelling. Sheesh
-My parents raised me as an only child, which really annoyed my younger brother.
-When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
-My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!" They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
"Change was inevitable"
Nemo sicut deus debet esse!
![[Image: Canada_Flag.jpg?v=1646203843]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=cdn.shopify.com%2Fs%2Ffiles%2F1%2F0630%2F5310%2F3332%2Fproducts%2FCanada_Flag.jpg%3Fv%3D1646203843)
“No matter what men think, abortion is a fact of life. Women have always had them; they always have and they always will. Are they going to have good ones or bad ones? Will the good ones be reserved for the rich, while the poor women go to quacks?”
–SHIRLEY CHISHOLM
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RE: joke time
October 4, 2021 at 5:20 am
A lot of international travelers are still being quarantined at their destination. I know it's frustrating, but it doesn't have to be unproductive.
While he was in isolation, famed mathematician Theodore Kaczynski completed more than 16 successful technical projects AND wrote a 35 000 word essay that was published in the New York Times.
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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RE: joke time
October 4, 2021 at 9:52 am
A woman went to her doctor for advice.
She told him that her husband had developed a
penchant for anal sex, and she was not sure
that it was such a good idea.
'Do you enjoy it?' The doctor asked.
'Actually, yes, I do.
'Does it hurt you?' he asked.
'No. I rather like it.'
"Well, then,' the doctor continued, 'there's no
reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex,
if that's what you like, so long as you take
care not to get pregnant.'
The woman was mystified. 'What? You can get
pregnant from anal sex?'
'Of course,' the doctor replied. 'Where do you
think all the politicians come from?'
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RE: joke time
October 5, 2021 at 7:58 pm
What is a Dalek's favorite fruit?
Apples. Because one a day keeps The Doctor away.
The whole tone of Church teaching in regard to woman is, to the last degree, contemptuous and degrading. - Elizabeth Cady Stanton
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RE: joke time
October 6, 2021 at 2:07 am
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but the bulb has got to really want to change.
***
How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?
It’s a very obscure number, you probably won’t have heard of it.
***
How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Sex.
***
How long does it take a performance artist to change a lightbulb?
I don’t know; I left after the first hour and a half.
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RE: joke time
October 6, 2021 at 4:37 am
(October 6, 2021 at 2:07 am)vulcanlogician Wrote: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but the bulb has got to really want to change.
***
How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?
It’s a very obscure number, you probably won’t have heard of it.
***
How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Sex.
***
How long does it take a performance artist to change a lightbulb?
I don’t know; I left after the first hour and a half.
My favourite version of the Freudian one:
How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to change the bulb and two to hold the penis...I mean father...LADDER!!
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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