Posts: 35310
Threads: 205
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation:
146
RE: joke time
January 19, 2022 at 5:37 am
Some English tourists were travelling through Wales when they passed through the Welsh town with the longest place name in the world, Llongfeckingwelshnameyouneedathroatfullofphlegmtopronounce.
They went into a restaurant, and when they arrived at the counter, one said to the girl serving, "I wonder if you could settle a bet between us. Can you please pronounce where we are very slowly?"
"Of course," answered the girl with a smile, "You're in burrr-gerrr king."
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
Posts: 46318
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
January 19, 2022 at 5:39 am
My wife: 'You can't believe everything you see on the internet.'
Me: 'I don't need this attitude from you - there are hot singles IN MY AREA eager to date me.'
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 35310
Threads: 205
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation:
146
RE: joke time
January 19, 2022 at 6:02 am
Novax Djcovid has been hired to bat for the English cricket team.
The coach said, "We know he doesn't have a background in cricket, but it took Australia two weeks to get him out."
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
Posts: 572
Threads: 2
Joined: October 30, 2009
Reputation:
13
RE: joke time
January 19, 2022 at 6:21 pm
As I slipped my finger slowly inside her hole, I could immediately feel it getting wetter and wetter…
I slid my finger back out, and within seconds, she was going down on me.
I thought to myself, “I really need a new fucking boat.”
Posts: 35310
Threads: 205
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation:
146
RE: joke time
January 19, 2022 at 10:45 pm
(This post was last modified: January 20, 2022 at 12:46 am by The Valkyrie.)
Say what you like about Aussie tennis..
They know how to return a Serb.
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
Posts: 20476
Threads: 447
Joined: June 16, 2014
Reputation:
111
RE: joke time
January 20, 2022 at 12:18 am
(This post was last modified: January 20, 2022 at 1:57 am by ignoramus.)
^ I'm pinching this! Ta...
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Posts: 46318
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
January 20, 2022 at 5:04 am
A man and a woman are chatting at a bar. At one point in the conversation, he says, 'You may not believe this, but I can tell a woman's exact age just by touching her breasts.'
Understandably, the woman laughs and says, 'Oh, come on. No one can do that.'
The man shrugs and says, 'It's true. In fact, I'll bet you the price of your next drink that I can do it.'
After a bit of hemming and hawing, the woman agrees to the bet. The man begins touching, rubbing, stroking and bouncing her boobs. After about five minutes, the woman says, 'Ok, smart guy, when was I born?'
The man says, 'Yesterday. Here's $5 for your next drink.'
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 35310
Threads: 205
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation:
146
RE: joke time
January 20, 2022 at 6:07 am
(This post was last modified: January 20, 2022 at 6:15 am by The Valkyrie.)
Two women are talking in a cafetaria.
"My grandmother just turned 100 and got a letter from the Queen.
"My daughter just turned 13 and got a text from Prince Andrew."
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
Posts: 46318
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
January 20, 2022 at 6:13 am
(This post was last modified: January 20, 2022 at 6:15 am by The Valkyrie.)
(January 20, 2022 at 6:07 am)The Valkyrie Wrote: Two women are talking in a cafetaria.
"My grandmother just turned 100 and got a letter from the Queen.
"My daughter just turned 13 and got a text from Prince Andrew."
I kinda feel bad for Prince Andrew - imagine going to a strip club and seeing a picture of your mum hanging out of a stripper's G.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 572
Threads: 2
Joined: October 30, 2009
Reputation:
13
RE: joke time
January 20, 2022 at 11:04 am
Contest in a girl’s college: write a short story which contains religion, sex and mystery.
Winner’s story: “Oh god, I am pregnant, I wonder who did it.”
