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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

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joke time
purplepurpose Offline
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#6031
RE: joke time
July 1, 2022 at 9:44 am (This post was last modified: July 1, 2022 at 9:45 am by purplepurpose.)
God: Here you go, you own brain to each of you.
People: Thanks Lord.
God: Now, let me fuck with it(doubts, contradictions, mysterious ways and all that jazz. Satan, the tempter).
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Darinda Offline
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#6032
RE: joke time
July 1, 2022 at 12:03 pm
A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied: “I’m drawing God.”

The teacher paused and said: “But no one knows what God looks like.”

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied: “They will in a minute.”
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#6033
RE: joke time
July 2, 2022 at 7:06 pm
I’ve started investing in stocks, primarily beef, chicken, and vegetable.

One day, I hope to be a bouillonaire.


Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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The Valkyrie Offline
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#6034
RE: joke time
July 2, 2022 at 7:59 pm
(July 2, 2022 at 7:06 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: I’ve started investing in stocks, primarily beef, chicken, and vegetable.

One day, I hope to be a bouillonaire.


Boru

Diablo
Dying to live, living to die.
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The Valkyrie Offline
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#6035
RE: joke time
July 4, 2022 at 7:23 am
My boss complained that I intimidate the staff.

I glared at him until he apologised.
Dying to live, living to die.
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purplepurpose Offline
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#6036
RE: joke time
July 4, 2022 at 10:17 am (This post was last modified: July 4, 2022 at 10:18 am by purplepurpose.)
Stalin God: Holy Gulag or endless firing squad executions. Its your choice, comrade.
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Darinda Offline
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#6037
RE: joke time
July 5, 2022 at 7:30 am
A woman phones up her husband at work for a chat.

HIM “I’m sorry dear but I’m up to my neck in work today.”

HER “But I’ve got some good news and some bad news for you dear.”
HIM “OK darling, but as I’ve got no time now, just give me the good news.”

HER “Well, the air bag works.”
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The Valkyrie Offline
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#6038
RE: joke time
July 6, 2022 at 4:24 am
Last night I pushed my phone under my pillow when I fell asleep.

When I woke up, it was gone and there was a $1 coin in its place.

Fucking Bluetooth fairy!
Dying to live, living to die.
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The Valkyrie Offline
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#6039
RE: joke time
July 7, 2022 at 12:06 am
A farmer walks into a bar, sits down, and otders a glass of champaigne

A woman at the bar says to him, "Hey, I'm drinking champaigne, too."

"What a coincidence," replies the farmer, "Why champaigne so early in the morning?"

"I've just had some great news," replies the woman.

"What a coincidence," says the farmer. "So have I. What's your good news?"

"My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for years. My doctor tells me I'm now pregnant!"

"What a coincidence. I'm a chicken farmer, and all last year my hens were infertile. Now, they're producing more eggs than I can sell."

"How did you turn that bad luck around?" Asks the woman.

"I used a different cock," replies the farmer.

"What a coincidence!" Says the woman.
Dying to live, living to die.
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#6040
RE: joke time
July 7, 2022 at 5:52 am
I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector. All that damned beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

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