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joke time
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 RE: joke time
July 1, 2022 at 9:44 am
(This post was last modified: July 1, 2022 at 9:45 am by purplepurpose.)
God: Here you go, you own brain to each of you.
People: Thanks Lord. God: Now, let me fuck with it(doubts, contradictions, mysterious ways and all that jazz. Satan, the tempter). 
A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied: “I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said: “But no one knows what God looks like.” Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied: “They will in a minute.” 
I’ve started investing in stocks, primarily beef, chicken, and vegetable.
One day, I hope to be a bouillonaire. Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
 (July 2, 2022 at 7:06 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: I’ve started investing in stocks, primarily beef, chicken, and vegetable. 
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
My boss complained that I intimidate the staff.
I glared at him until he apologised. Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???" RE: joke time
July 4, 2022 at 10:17 am
(This post was last modified: July 4, 2022 at 10:18 am by purplepurpose.)
Stalin God: Holy Gulag or endless firing squad executions. Its your choice, comrade.
A woman phones up her husband at work for a chat.
HIM “I’m sorry dear but I’m up to my neck in work today.” HER “But I’ve got some good news and some bad news for you dear.” HIM “OK darling, but as I’ve got no time now, just give me the good news.” HER “Well, the air bag works.”
Last night I pushed my phone under my pillow when I fell asleep.
When I woke up, it was gone and there was a $1 coin in its place. Fucking Bluetooth fairy! Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
A farmer walks into a bar, sits down, and otders a glass of champaigne
A woman at the bar says to him, "Hey, I'm drinking champaigne, too." "What a coincidence," replies the farmer, "Why champaigne so early in the morning?" "I've just had some great news," replies the woman. "What a coincidence," says the farmer. "So have I. What's your good news?" "My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for years. My doctor tells me I'm now pregnant!" "What a coincidence. I'm a chicken farmer, and all last year my hens were infertile. Now, they're producing more eggs than I can sell." "How did you turn that bad luck around?" Asks the woman. "I used a different cock," replies the farmer. "What a coincidence!" Says the woman. Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector. All that damned beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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