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joke time
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My wife never watches the whole porno.
She just flicks to the bits she likes.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
Late in the evening, a man brings his wife two aspirin and a glass of water. Puzzled, she looks at him and says, 'But I don't have a headache.'
And the husband says, 'GOTCHA!!' Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Manchester United are turning into the Katie Price of English football.
They keep needlessly spending a fortune to boost what they've got up front and end up getting fucked at the back.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
They're making a magazine for gay soldiers.
It's lots of pictures of privates.
If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. - J.R.R Tolkien
My son was misbehaving earlier, so I took the belt out.
Then I hit the brakes and watched him fly through the windscreen.
“Blessed are the curious, for they shall have adventures.” ~L. Drachman
 
Met a lovely young woman on the tennis courts. I'm not shy, so I gave her my best winning smile and told her what a sexy little sack of estrogen she was. She asked me if I'd like to double up. I said, 'Sure!' and she kicked me in the balls...
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
I was having such a lovely dream this morning. Then some inconsiderate cunt decided to ruin it by bouncing off my windscreen.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
I also had a bad driving experience recently, Stimbo. I was weaving all over the road while trying to change the radio, and the cops pulled me over just as I got the old one out.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Did you know that copper wire was invented by two Scotsmen fighting over a penny?
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???" |
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