Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: May 14, 2024, 8:08 am

Thread Rating:
  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
joke time
RE: joke time
A depressed unicorn went to see a psychiatrist who told him, 'You just need to believe in yourself.'

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Reply
RE: joke time
I let my girlfriend down today.

I had to, to get her back in the box.


At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
Reply
RE: joke time
When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.

When life hands you melons, get yourself tested for dyslexia.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Reply
RE: joke time
Quote:When life hands you melons, .


[Image: d54377fceff688a0dc06ea98c4df6e2a.600x.jpg]


Rejoice.
Reply
RE: joke time
an oldie but a goodie:
President Clinton is walking across the White House lawn preparing to board Chopper One. The Marine guarding the copter snaps a crisp salute and says, "Good day, sir". Thanks", president says. "I'm heading down to Little Rock to officiate the Arkansas State Fair". The guard: "Have a good trip, sir".
Two days later the president returns and is disembarking the chopper carrying a hog under each arm. The same guard snaps that salute and says, "Welcome back sir, nice hogs". "Yeah", Bill says, "they're prime Arkansas Razorbacks. I got one for Hillary and one for Chelsea".
"Nice trade, sir."
Reply
RE: joke time
Two Irish fellas decide they've have enough of the back-break of construction work and take all their savings to open a pub. The choose a prime location, refurbish it, decorate it to the hilt, stock it with the most popular beers they can find, and - nothing. No custom at all.

This dismal state of affairs drags on for a couple of weeks and one fella turns to the other and says, 'Pity we opened a pub. We should have opened a brothel.'

'Ara, it's touched in the head, ye are,' says his friend. 'If we can't get people to drink beer, how t' hell are we supposed to get 'em to drink broth?'

Boru

'
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Reply
RE: joke time
It's said if you truly love someone, let them go.

Just seems a waste of duct tape to me.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
Reply
RE: joke time
Hear about the depressed Eskimo? He was eaten by a bipolar bear.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Reply
RE: joke time
Had a Jehovah's Witness at the door this morning. After ten minutes interesting discussion, she handed me a pamphlet and told me I'd find it useful.

She was quite right.

I scrunched it up into a ball and threw it at her.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
Reply
RE: joke time
Allah Akbar god is great
cutting off heads and eating some cake.
Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  No joke -- I have decided to convert to Christianity! Jehanne 10 2358 April 23, 2021 at 9:54 pm
Last Post: arewethereyet
  A sacred joke. Mystic 15 2830 January 20, 2018 at 10:00 pm
Last Post: Cyberman
  Big Bang Theory Neil Tyson joke Brian37 1 1511 May 18, 2016 at 8:07 pm
Last Post: vorlon13
  There Has To Be A Joke Here, Somewhere! Minimalist 3 2394 October 1, 2014 at 10:57 pm
Last Post: Zidneya
  Joke Minimalist 59 17197 June 27, 2014 at 12:25 am
Last Post: Ravenshire
  A little joke Sup 11 4349 April 10, 2014 at 7:33 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  Evolution (is a) joke JesusLover1 12 9055 March 2, 2014 at 6:24 pm
Last Post: Minimalist
  Preacher joke 02 Drich 2 1911 February 12, 2014 at 7:15 am
Last Post: NoraBrimstone
  Preacher joke 01 Drich 8 4535 January 20, 2014 at 12:31 am
Last Post: Drich
  Make Up An Atheist Joke freedomfromforum 5 2900 October 6, 2013 at 12:30 am
Last Post: Angrboda



Users browsing this thread: 7 Guest(s)