Well. It's decided. Turns out I'm not a man.
Who knew?
Who knew?
Gone
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Current time: May 14, 2024, 3:55 am
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joke time
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I broke the chart.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
I hate real men.
They're so fucking boring and dumb. :-)  RE: joke time
January 22, 2015 at 1:43 am
(This post was last modified: January 22, 2015 at 1:44 am by Jenny A.)
(January 21, 2015 at 10:03 pm)Stimbo Wrote: I broke the chart. 10 A's? (January 21, 2015 at 9:08 pm)Roxy904 Wrote: Well. It's decided. Turns out I'm not a man. I'm not either. Funny that.
If there is a god, I want to believe that there is a god. If there is not a god, I want to believe that there is no god.
Toasts
-Here's to our wives and girlfriends. May they never meet. -Here's to women and horses, and the men who ride them. -Here's to staying positive and testing negative. -Drink up, cunts. -Here's to birthdays, which come once a year. Aren't you glad you're not a birthday? -Here's to the top, Here's to the middle. Here's hoping tonight, We all get a little. -Here's to the girls that we love, Here's to the girls that we hate Here's to the girls that we'll fuck, but probably never date. -Here's to virgins and lesbians. Thanks for nothing. -May all your ups and downs be under the covers. -Here's to knickers. Not the best thing in the world, but damned close to it. Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Today I put a stick in a non-stick saucepan.
Anarchy.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
I love this joke, I expect it has been told here before.
 A blonde is driving down the highway... she is going past miles of flat fields. Suddenly she notices another blonde in a small fishing boat in the middle of a field. She slows and comes to a stop. She gets out of her car, stomps to the edge of the field and yells, "You dumb bitch! You give blondes a bad name! If I could swim, I would come out there and kick your ass!!" ![[Image: dc52deee8e6b07186c04ff66a45fd204.jpg]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=i585.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fss295%2Faaliyahqin%2Fcat%2Fdc52deee8e6b07186c04ff66a45fd204.jpg)
Two Aggies meet in midair.
The first Aggie hollers, "Hey, Know anything about parachutes?". Second Aggie hollers, "Nope, Know anything about gas stoves?"
You make people miserable and there's nothing they can do about it, just like god.
-- Homer Simpson God has no place within these walls, just as facts have no place within organized religion. -- Superintendent Chalmers Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins a movie by telling you how it ends. There are some things we don't want to know. Important things. -- Ned Flanders Once something's been approved by the government, it's no longer immoral. -- The Rev Lovejoy 
Can anyone explain to me the meaning of 'idk'?
Everyone I ask just always tells me they don't know.
"Every luxury has a deep price. Every indulgence, a cosmic cost. Each fiber of pleasure you experience causes equivalent pain somewhere else. This is the first law of emodynamics [sic]. Joy can be neither created nor destroyed. The balance of happiness is constant.
Fact: Every time you eat a bite of cake, someone gets horsewhipped. Facter: Every time two people kiss, an orphanage collapses. Factest: Every time a baby is born, an innocent animal is severely mocked for its physical appearance. Don't be a pleasure hog. Your every smile is a dagger. Happiness is murder. Vote "yes" on Proposition 1321. Think of some kids. Some kids." RE: joke time
January 25, 2015 at 2:53 pm
(This post was last modified: January 25, 2015 at 2:54 pm by IATIA.)
I don't know. ->third base
You make people miserable and there's nothing they can do about it, just like god.
-- Homer Simpson God has no place within these walls, just as facts have no place within organized religion. -- Superintendent Chalmers Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins a movie by telling you how it ends. There are some things we don't want to know. Important things. -- Ned Flanders Once something's been approved by the government, it's no longer immoral. -- The Rev Lovejoy |
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